PS. WordPress dumped text everywhere with this post and I couldn’t fix it. It’s my wish it’s readable !
This post is dedicated Victor, Janine and Frederic. Thank you very much for your recent donations and a very special thanks to Victor and Frederic for your ongoing support ! Thanks to your donations, my A Tumour Called Freedom fundraiser is kicking along nicely ! I have’t tallied it up for a while, so I can’t give you an update just yet. I want to acknowledge that all the people who donate regularly to help ease the financial pressure of living with tumours and having treatment etc., make an incredible personal sacrifice that means a great deal to me ! There are so many people who reach out to me and stretch themselves beyond what is reasonable, because for some reason or another, they care. And I find that deeply touching and immensely uplifting, especially when I’ve been physically unwell ! It’s nice to know that there are humans doing whatever they can to ease another person’s burden ! Which leads me onto today’s post…
I recently received some comments from Darci – a lady from Texas who has frequently taken the time to leave supportive and encouraging comments. Darci, I am writing this at the risk of upsetting you but that is not my intention. So please, do not be upset. You left two comments that I found very touching, to which I have responded with a new TSM (as yet unpublished) and am likely to make a follow up TSM. For people reading this, it may be better to read this post on caring https://etandi.wordpress.com/2014/06/22/caring-as-a-path-to-spiritual-growth-and-et-contact/
before you continue.
Darci I want to start by thanking you for your honesty, your authenticity and your vulnerability ! 😉
This is what Darci said :
That’s a huge post for a man that’s supposed to be shying away from electronic emissions!
You are so sweet to write this in Sandor and my honor. It means the world to me. You are so welcome for the financial support. I only get paid once a month from the school district so the wait in between is a little long. That being said let’s move on to the good stuff…….
You are a breath of fresh air…literally. I’m just an average mother and grandmother. I have a decent life. No more stressful than most and probably a lot less stressful than many. But, I’m in love with this Australian man on the other side of the world that I’ve never met. I wish I could clone you and keep you in my pocket! I feel that I’ll probably never achieve (fulfill) Dude’s maxims but I am giving it all I got! I know he’s right. The biggest pattern that is hardest to break is my unbelievably strong, inner desire to be somewhere else, someone else, anything other than who I am and where I am. I know this is a horrible place to stay and is counterproductive to acceptance and surrender. It’s the reason I can’t break through. It’s the one hardest inner mental habit to break. I want….I want something else….I want what? I’m just so unfulfilled. I feel like I’m missing something so huge and vaste but it will not reveal itself to me. I’m aware this is my fault, only mine. But, the constant nagging want is all consuming. I carry on with all of my daily tasks, I cook, clean, change my granddaughter’s diapers, go to work, but…I’m so, so lonely. I’m missing what? I hesitate sharing this with you because I don’t want to come across as mentally ill. I’m not. If anyone will get it, it’s you. It’s crazy that I trust you huh?
Well, that’s because we definitely have connected in some other timeline. I feel like I know you. Thanks Bright. No burden posting back! Just needed to purge. As usual,…my love to you and great thankfulness for caring about us needy ones out in blog land.
I want to apologize to you and the rest of the blog family for my confusing and depressing previous post. I was obviously feeling very down. I’m much more balanced now and feel awful for posting such nonsense. I experience very bad days as I’m still mourning my daughter in laws death. She passed last November and the holidays were hard. Dudes teachings have and continue to help me break destructive mental habits. My intention was not to create weirdness and awkwardness for you or anyone else. Please forgive me.
On the lighter side, it is snowing in Texas. Just a brushing on the ground but beautiful.
I will be more thoughtful in my posts from this day forward. I really do appreciate what you share and would never want to jeopardize your willingness to continue. I truly hope your treatment goes well and I do think of you and your situation often. Looking forward to the new year. Lots of love to you and Toa. Hang in there and so will I.
Darci let me tell you that you have nothing to apologise for. You are not the first person to say words with such affection and you will probably not be the last. There have been several people who have posted comments here, who later asked me to remove them – which I did. I sense that you felt some kind of shame or embarrassment for what you said. But you shouldn’t. What your comments did, was to highlight the agony of the human condition and you did it out in public and with real integrity. I feel your pain because it is the pain of a human being who knows suffering ! You are also a carer who sacrifices yourself for the well-being of another and you are still grieving for one that you loved. You want more than suffering. You want fulfilment and you are totally entitled to want that ! No human should want anything less !One of the most significant reasons that every other person is on this page and looking at this blog, is because they too are seeking something other than what they have – whether it’s understanding, insight, wisdom, compassion, knowledge or experience ! You just happened to be the one person who owned up to needing something more ! I myself seek contact with ETs because I can’t always get what I want with other humans and because I desire to know life in as many forms as I can. So please, don’t feel bad about being honest ! You need not feel awful and what you said is not nonsense ! It maybe one of the most valuable and important things anyone has ever said here ! Every human being has vulnerabilities but few human beings like to have their vulnerabilities exposed. Vulnerability opens us to what’s really inside. And what you have shown us is that you have a deep yearning for something MORE. What that more is I’m not sure. But it’s something other than what is and the suffering that comes with it. And that my friend is what the human condition is all about. It is a condition in which there is a constant flux of experiences and feelings. Some of which put us in touch with this something MORE and some of which take us away from whatever the MORE is ! But no aspect of the flux of experience is permanent ! Everything comes and everything goes !What I am trying to say to people through this blog is this : Know thyself, know everything that is inside you and then contact is yours – whether it’s with an ET or another living being.
So Darci, please do not apologise or suppress what you so honestly expressed ! Feelings are meant to be felt as they are and you experience them for a reason – so do not deny them or the reason behind them !
Many people are familiar with people who speak English saying FINE – I’m fine, everything’s fine, she’s fine, of course I’m fine etc. When the person is clearly not fine ! Our language and our bodies betray us ! Because they know the truth. So Darci and everyone else who understands this, do not suppress your own truth !
Why do I feel so much fondness for the space faring ETs ? Because the vast majority of them speak truthfully and live without the habit of suppression. They are what they are and they act in accordance with who they really are. And that is what I want other human beings to know. You must speak your own truth and you must speak in such a way as it feels right inside your own body. I spent a life time cultivating the art of suppression and wearing a mask and denying the real me. That is why I grew sick with tumours. And I recognise the same traits in many people.
Darci you said – I feel like I’m missing something so huge and vaste but it will not reveal itself to me. Such honesty and power ! You know what this is this thing. You feel it but you cannot articulate it. And that is good. That is a place to begin and a place from which you can heal. You are touching the greatest power there is but you don’t have words for it. You are not living from your head (intellectuals can learn from this), you are living from your body. And the body is the only real path to freedom and healing. Be with the body as much as you can. You do not have to master any kind of meditation. Let your life be the meditation. Notice what the body feels as often as you can, in any situation. Pay attention to it. Feel it. Let it be. Let it speak to you. If it wants to. Let it show you images, let it show you words, let it show you actions. Everything you need to do, your body already understands but it wants the mind to sit with it and to give it attention and to feel it exactly as it is.
Darci I’ll upload 2 TSMs on this subject because you have touched on the GREAT THING, the GREAT IT that everyone seeks ! And that is no small feat ! So thank you !
Darci I would like to introduce the teachings of what I consider a great master of human understanding Eugene Gendlin, who pioneered the practice of Foucssing. I used Focussing with my former therapy clients with great success and used it myself but was too lazy to use it often – until recently when I discovered that some of the body mind image techniques I have been developing came from the same way of thinking. I think many of you will also find Focussing a powerful tool for healing and true presence. Especially those of you who think meditation is the answer or knowledge is the answer. Meditation is only one useful tool for looking inwards and outwards. If meditation ignores some sort of dialogue with the body, then it is useless !
The following videos are a great introduction to the subject.
Darci see what you can learn from watching Eugene (the last video) work with the lady from 40’20 mins. If you look carefully you will see similarities and I think you will see that her feeling and yours are very similar.
In time I would like to share a method of ET contact and ET Contact Memory Retrievals, that has some similarities to Focussing and originates from the same sort of background theory,
Thank you Darci for sharing the fragrance of your suffering and for letting the rose of your life open up for all of us to see it’s exquisite beauty ! Please trust that now that the flower has opened, that is just the beginning…