Here’s Dude’s ninth lesson for life (from the second Dude book). You can read all the lessons here : https://etandi.wordpress.com/?s=Dude%27s+9+lessons. Enjoy The God Machine’s “Scenes From the Second Story” – a masterpiece from one of the best rock bands of the 90s !
I think this one you’ll find to be challenging but also something that will be important to you when you have a full understanding of it. So Bright please understand that for your average human being, trying to make sense of life is beyond them, trying to choose the life that they want is beyond them, trying to better their life is beyond them, trying to be satisfied with life is beyond them. Many people try to have these things but they come up short. And why is that ? Because for the most part human beings do not take the time to understand themselves, to understand the human mind, to understand the human body, to understand relationship, to understand reality. So when you take time to understand things, you can gain wisdom, you can gain understanding, you can gain insight and integrate these things into how you live. In other words, you can make changes that help you. And by helping yourself, you help others. And when you help other people, you in turn feel satisfied. So understand Bright, a conscious choice in how to choose to live is something that most human beings do not make ! They do not choose how to live ! They do not see how they can live ! They roll along, pulled along by every whim, every desire, every mental piece of flotsam and jetsam, every little distraction, every little reaction, everything they feel they have to do ! But rarely, very rarely, do they make a conscious choice in how they want to live, for their entire life ! Let alone, just one day ! When you choose how to live for one day, it gets easier every other day ! When you choose to live every day a particular way, you live your whole life that way. But people don’t do that. Human beings don’t do that. They pull up their socks every now and then but then they let them slip down again and then they make the same mistakes that kept them dragging in the mud before.
So I want to give you something that I feel will help you significantly. And it’s very, very simple.
Let me start by saying this. For every life that exists in the entire cosmos, there are ways to live that are good for that life and ways to live that are bad for that life. And no two lives are the same, although they are similar in some ways and different in others. But no two lives are the same. So when it comes to human beings, you have a choice – a very simple choice. You have a choice, you can choose to embrace what enters your life and to take it, whatever it is and be satisfied with whatever it is. Or you have a choice to say ”No I don’t like this.” and put up with it and feel miserable. Or to say “I’m going to do something about it. I’m going to make a change because I don’t like this.” and so you make that change, however you need to do it. Now here’s the problem with human beings. You say you want choices, you say you want to make changes but you don’t like choices and you don’t like making changes. And whenever you’re confronted with something really painful, something that puts you in a position where you have a really painful choice to make and it isn’t clear which way you should go, you let all kinds of things tear you apart. And you focus on all of your failures and all of the bad feelings from the past. You let your imagination take over for worse, instead of taking over for better. And I’m not saying you should be foolhardy and pick up anchor and coast along as if they’ll never be anything that will go against you. I’m not saying that at all. I’m saying that you should make choices that you feel are good for you and be aware of what those choices lead to. But here’s the thing – you have to be willing to do that. To see that you have choices. To be willing to make a choice. To be willing to take a risk. And then depending on what choice you make, you have to be willing to accept where you’ve gone or to do something about it and not just complain about it. And that’s the problem, many people just complain about those things.
So I’m going to give you a very simple exercise. One that relates to something that I said earlier but one I think that might surprise you.
So I want you to consider this. On a day to day basis you are faced with countless choices. Perhaps dozens, perhaps hundreds. Now depending on your environment and whatever situations you’re in, it can vary widely, from the moment you open your eyes to the moment you close your eyes at night. Many many choices. And you tally up those choices, every year you make many, many, many choices – thousands of choices and most of them you make without giving much thought ! Many of them are made unconsciously. Many of them are made with only the briefest of thought and most of them are made without any consideration of how you feel – how you feel emotionally or how your body feels. So consider Bright that when you make choices, you do so in a number of ways. You can do so unconsciously – you just go with the thing, almost moving over the fact that you had a choice because the choice has been made for you. Or you can think about a choice. Put yourself in a position where you think about something. You can approach that in many different ways. Or you might imagine something. Or in so doing, think about it. Or you might feel something emotionally. Feel either choice and see how you feel emotionally. Or where you might imagine either choice or see how your body feels. So you have all these different ways of making choices. And for the most part human beings make them unconsciously or by thinking about them a little. They very rarely connect with how they’re feeling emotionally and really pay attention to that or how they’re feeling in their bodies. Now sometimes when you make a choice, you make it very quickly. You’re reacting directly to an emotion but you may not be thinking about it. You maybe imagining but not thinking. At the same time you’re not paying attention to your body. So the danger for a human being often, is to choose one way or another of making choices. Rather than approaching them using all of these ways of choosing, integrating all of them. Now that’s not something that you do easily. You make hasty choices all the time and you’ve trained yourself to do that. And as I said, many choices are unconscious. You haven’t even made the time to bring it into consciousness. You do them automatically. So that’s not very useful either. And so whenever you have a choice, inside of a choice about something, is a choice about how to make that choice and if you can be aware of that, you can make a choice that is actually good for you, that actually takes you to where you want to go – to where your body wants you to go, to where your spirit wants you to go !A choice that is good for all of you !
So I’m going to give you a simple exercise. It is one that you can modify however you like, one that you can use in any particular experience, any particular situation, when it comes to making choices. And I think you’ll find that once you’ve integrated it, your ability to approach life and to take on choices becomes far easier and far more rewarding, far more satisfying, without feelings of “I should have made this choice or that choice or what if I’d have done that or maybe it’s too late to do this.”. All these different types of regret. You wont have that. It will disappear from your existence. And with it you will feel greater fulfillment.
So this is the exercise. Start small and work your way up. And as I said you can vary it how you like, personalize it however you like, change it from occasion to occasion. Right, the exercise goes like this. During the day, twice a day, I want you to pick a situation in which you have to make a choice. It can be a simple choice, it can be a hard choice. Start with the simpler choices first and then work your way up, so that down the track you’re doing it with your harder choices. But you can start with your simple choices. Look at your choices before you make them. Create the mental space to look at them before you choose them. And now, ask your body, “Where in my body is this choice being felt ?” and take note of the parts of your body that are experiencing this choice. And just sit with that feeling for a minute. And when you’ve done that, I want you to consider your choices. What are the choices you have in making that choice ? And I want you to see if you make one choice, where does that choice feel in your body ? And just take note. And if you make another choice, where does that choice feel in your body ? And just take note. And keep going, depending on how many choices you have. And what you’ll find is this – different choices create a certain energy in different parts of your body and overall in your body. Sometimes the energy is weak and sometimes it’s stronger and sometimes it’s very strong. And what you’ll notice is a particular sensation, when you ask the right choice. The choice that is best for you to make. It will have a strong sensation and it will be a pleasant sensation. And if there are other choices that aren’t too bad, they maybe pleasant but they wont be strong. And other choices that are not good for you, they maybe strong but they wont be pleasant. It will be very clear the distinction. And of course they’ll be some that aren’t so bad, that won’t be so strong but they’ll be unpleasant. Now this distinction will happen very clearly for you. Now I said at the beginning, you will feel where the choice is inside of you. Now that feeling will occur in a certain part of your body. Now the feeling of the best choice may occur in the same part of your body or in a different part of your body. It doesn’t matter. They’re answering different things.
I’m a bit confused Dude. You said I could personalize this how I want. I’m not seeing the personalized bit at the moment.
Keep listening Bright, you will.
Alright, please continue.
OK, so once you’ve done this – felt what each choice is like in your body, I want you to see what happens if you imagine that choice, the right choice, inside the part of the body that had to make the choice. Now you can see it moving if you want, you can feel it moving. It doesn’t matter. Now when that happens you’ll feel a particular feeling arise. It will be a feeling of goodness, of wellness, of satisfaction, of fulfillment, of knowing it’s right. Now if that doesn’t happen, do that exercise again because something is wrong or you need to consider other choices. Now here’s where it comes into personalizing. When you’ve done that I want you to try this. Now that you have the feeling of what’s right, I want you to imagine that particular choice. See what it will involve, see what it will look like. You can do that however you want. It’s very personal. What I might do is very different to what you might do. And as you’re watching that image and as you’re seeing those images unfold, just notice the emotions that arise inside of you. What kind of flavour do they have ? Are they positive, are they negative ? Are they comfortable ? If they’re comfortable that’s good. If they’re not comfortable that’s not so good. It means you need to revisit the whole thing. And so that’s the exercise. You can personalize any part of it that you want but what I was trying to emphasize is that whatever you choose to see regarding that choice, is up to you. You may see one thing one day and another thing another day. You may see different elements of an experience – the choice at different time intervals. Personalize it how you want, play with it how you want. And it will vary from person to person, depending on who was in the situation. So explore that and always come back to the feeling that it creates. Emotionally and physically it will have a very distinctive feeling. It is very comfortable or uncomfortable. And so that gives you certainty on your choices. There are several different ways of getting to it. You’re not just relying on one thing.
Dude I’m a bit confused. Why did you mention another thing to do with choice making later, rather than earlier ?
Well. because I felt it connected to what came previous and I think Bright you’ll find if you work through these – initially when you work through them that the ones prior help with the ones that come after. The first one is the easiest to work with. But once you are familiar with all of them, you can apply any of them at any time. That will take practice and it’s the practice that will make the difference. You can’t just do something once and expect your life to change over night. It will only change when you practice things. When you allow yourself to feel what you need to feel because it’s the feeling that’s going to change everything.
Sorry I interrupted you. Feel free to go back to it.
Yes, well I just wanted to say one thing about that. In your experiences of making choices, it’s OK to make unconscious choices. Sometimes that’s useful, it’s necessary, it helps. It is the best way to make a choice. But sometimes when it comes to making significant choices or difficult choices, it’s better to get out of unconscious mode and to make better choices. Choices that integrate all of your being, instead of choices that are made one way or the other. If you have this integrated approach, you’ll find that all of you is informing that choice, rather than just your mind, rather than just your impulses, your normal habitual reactions. So when you train yourself this way, it gets easier with time. Yes it will be challenging at first but you’ll find with time it gets easier and because it gets easier, it becomes habit. It becomes something that you know how to do without having to think about it. You do it naturally and because of that, it’s integrated into your life. It doesn’t feel like a chore, it doesn’t feel like something that you have to be aware of; you know how to do it and you do it by matter of habit. And because it’s habit, you make habitually better choices than you did before when you were not aware of how you were choosing. You were just choosing without consciously being aware of how you were making the choice and how you could have made the choice. This way you will do so in an informed way, a way that considers all of your needs, a way that connects you to what is best for you. And by doing that, you’ll make choices that are better for you, choices that are more fulfilling, choices that leave you with a feeling of satisfaction and no feeling of regret. And because of that your life will feel better. You’ll be healthier, you’ll be functioning better in every way.
It is often Bright, the fact that humans make choices that they were uncomfortable with, that they didn’t like afterwards, that they felt regret for afterwards, that had made them sick, that shortens their life, that makes their lives miserable. The ability to make choices in the right way changes everything for you human beings. And you need to understand that. You need to understand that if you’re going to go out into the cosmos. If you’re going to be space faring. If you’re going to be ordinary human beings that want to live a long, healthy life. So does that make sense ?
Yeah, it does. It turned out to be very long all of this. But I have a sense that there was a great deal here in understanding just two things – our emotions and our ability to make choices.
Yes that’s true and if you explore that you will see that it’s true.
One of the things I realized a long time ago was that there is always someone who resonates with me. Maybe it’s something I think, something I feel, something I do or something I believe or I care about. And the same is true for all of you. I know now that there is always someone for whom something I write has some value because it either resonates with them or provides them with something that they didn’t have before. I often write based upon a feeling that I need to write this today – For myself or someone else. Sometimes I know who it’s for an sometimes I don’t. Today I’m going to write about something that I feel will be useful to a good number of you. And it’s something I wish I understood when I was much younger but back then I was too poorly equipped intellectually and emotionally to understand what I now understand.
Inside of your journeys to make ET contact (for those of you who are here for that reason), you are actually trying to discover who you are and to understand your connection with everything else. You’ve asked all the really big questions about existence and you’re desperate to find answers. But that part or aspect of you is only doing what it needs to do. There are other parts or aspects that already have everything that they need. And so you will go through your life trying to create order from disorder, to make sense of the chaos and to find a way of feeling deeply satisfied. All the while aware that none of this is necessary. Inside of you there is a sense that everything is OK as it is but you refuse to let this feeling, this sense, occupy it’s place in the throne of your being and to reside within you night and day. Only when you stop dreaming at night, does your pre-occupation with the self subside and you return to the part/aspect that needs no satisfying.
And so when you are awake and conscious (or semi conscious as is most often the case), you are driven by this urge to be satisfied and the urge to control. But what is it that is seeking to control what ?
In order to live fully and to feel everything, it can be useful to let the many different aspects of your being come to the surface and enjoy being free of limitation and restriction.
The universe is whole that sees itself as parts. And no where is this more vivid than in a human being. Therefore in order to come to an understanding and appreciation that you are the whole and the parts, you need to recognize how you function. Let me propose then that fundamentally you function in one of only two ways. You require control or you relinquish control. Some people might possibly function a third way, by integrating both approaches.
In my own life I have experienced both of these approaches and at some point in the last decade came to the third approach. But the other two approaches continue to exist as well. So let me tell you how I came to be like this, so that you can begin to recognize how you too might be able to benefit from a more expansive way of being that is free of many of the limitations and restrictions that affect most people.
I will start by saying that I have always felt strongly that everything is exactly as it should be and that there is a being (call it God, The Light, The Grand Architect, The Great Fluffy Bunny in the Sky, whatever) that orchestrates my entire existence from within me and without. At the same time I have always felt that I am the master of my own life. I have always believed that free will is relative, free will is an illusion and that free will exists. For much of my life I have been focused on reconciling or integrating opposites.
As a child I was very spontaneous. I was a nature loving free spirit of a little boy who quickly learned to control his emotions and actions under a military trained and controlling father and fear inducing Marist Brothers in boarding school. Then I went to university and worked my arse off so that I could eventually be unemployed and my dreams fall apart around me. At some point beyond feeling suicidal, I decided to get my shit together and worked towards another qualification before entering the workforce. It took 20 years from when I was a free spirit of a little boy, to feel good about myself again. Around the same time I married and had a child and was confronted with my child’s congenital heart disease and all the shit of my own childhood. Somewhere during that period I began functioning differently and if I’m honest the real shift began in 1989 when I met my first girlfriend Gabrielle. Gabrielle was a fine artist and she was deeply insecure. She taught me the meaning of kindness and resilience and that I was actually a good person. Just prior to meeting her I had discovered heavy metal in earnest and began exploring a whole world of sound. I had found a vehicle to vent my anger. After meeting Gabrielle, my interest in the arts truly blossomed and I felt utterly bored with science. Soon after I discovered noise and the Avant Garde and my world opened up again in a way that was completely unforeseen. Gone were my plans to be a successful scientist and in their place was a desire to be a successful musician (even though I couldn’t play guitar well or sing for shit !). I was writing hundreds of poems and I knew that I also wanted to be a great writer. Then one day I discovered William Burroughs and his Cut Up Method (a method invented by Brion Gysin) . That method changed everything. I suddenly had a new way to make sound (tape recorder sampling) and a new way to invent poems and stories. In 1994 I moved to Melbourne to follow Gabrielle (who had left 2 years earlier) and after posting an add to find a like minded musician, my girlfriend betrayed me, sleeping with the guy who answered my add. A few months later I met Rachel, moved back to the country and began a completely different kind of life. Rachel was a former Oxford graduate who had Masters degree in Aeronautical Engineering and was also a lead dancer in the Royal Ballet. Rachel was confident and never afraid to express herself. Rachel and I argued incessantly and she challenged me about everything. Rachel taught me how to think for myself and how to stand up on my own two feet. But above everything, she taught me how to feel. In the years that followed we experienced lots of tragedy together, many strange experiences together (like ET contact), many ups and many downs. Before separating she woke me up to a whole new way of being that I had never even known existed. And so in a sense I returned to the little boy that I was. I am now much more relaxed about life and know who I am.
Many of you have heard me speak about my life before, so rather than go through every little detail, let me get to the point. I began my life being very natural and spontaneous. I was then conditioned to be very controlling and structured. I then began to explore a more natural and spontaneous way of being. And now I am able to be both structured and controlling and natural and spontaneous.
Along the way there are certain things that I learnt about and experienced that helped in this development. Some of them were very structured (mind orientated processes) and others were very energy driven (feeling orientated processes). I have learned through trial and error to integrate both of them into how I function and because of this I feel that I am now able to live a harmonious and deeply satisfying life. So what follows is a list of some of the things I learned and experienced that helped bring me to this point. No doubt you all have your own lists that are similar in some fundamental way.
- Photography (structure)
- William Burroughs’s Cut Up method (structure and energy)
- Heavy metal (structure and energy)
- The Avant Garde movement (structure and energy)
- Surrealism and Dad movements (structure and energy)
- Song writing (structure and energy)
- Poetry writing (structure and energy)
- Bibliomancy (self discovered) (energy)
- Classical music (structure and energy)
- J.S. Bach and A. Vivaldi (structure)
- Great vocalists (energy)
- Great song writers (structure and energy)
- Jackson Pollock’s Action Painting (structure and energy)
- Digital artwork (structure)
- Digital music (structure)
- Loving an insecure creative person (structure and energy)
- Living with and loving a creative person / psychic (energy)
- Voltaire’s Candide (structure and energy)
- Hemingway’s Old Man and the Sea (energy)
- Chaos and Complexity Theory in theory (structure)
- Chaos and Complexity Theory in practice (structure and energy)
- Bradford Keeney’s Autokinetics (structure and energy)
- Lucan’s Grail Experience (energy)
- Bert Hellinger’s Family Constellations work (structure and energy)
- Lawrence LeShan’s teachings on meditation (structure and energy)
- Quaker Soaking / Shaking Process for counselling (structure and energy)
- Arnold Mindell’s Process Psychology work (energy)
- Victor V. Wolf’s Holodynamics process (structure and energy)
- PJ Gaenir’s Archetype Meditation process (structure and energy)
- Osho’s moving meditations (structure and energy)
- Theravada and Mahayana Buddhism (structure and energy)
- Advaita / Neoadvaita (structure and energy)
- Shamanism (energy)
- The I-Ching (structure and energy)
- Systems Theory (structure)
- Family Therapy (structure and energy)
- Daoism (energy)
- The natural world (structure and energy)
- Burra Burra (Mountain of the Eagle) (energy)
- Deceased Aboriginal Australians and Native North Americans (energy)
- Connecting with dead people (energy)
- Connecting with my guides (structure and energy)
- Connecting with ETs (structure and energy)
- Dude (structure and energy)
- Connecting with trees (energy)
- Improvisation in art, music, dance and literature (structure and energy)
- Stream of consciousness writing (energy)
- Writing novels, plays, poetry, short stories etc. (structure and energy)
- Transpersonal psychology (structure and energy)
- Life threatening and life affirming illness (structure and energy)
- Carl Jung (structure and energy)
- Albert Einstein (structure and energy)
- John Paul 2 (energy)
- Great poets, novelists and playwrights (structure and energy)
- Great musicians (structure and energy)
- Great artists (structure and energy)
- Great philosophers (structure and energy)
- Great orators and story tellers (structure and energy)
- Great men and great women (energy)
- Great souls (energy)
- Kind people (energy)
- Mythology and symbolism (structure and energy)
- Ramana Maharshi’s Self Inquiry process (structure and energy)
- Walking (structure and energy)
- Qi Gong (structure and energy)
- Meditation (structure and energy)
- Swimming (energy)
- Cats (energy)
- Birds (energy)
- Plants (energy)
- Ants (structure and energy)
- People (structure and energy)
- History (structure)
- Clouds (structure and energy)
- Sand (structure and energy)
- Water (structure and energy)
- Dreaming (energy)
- Reading (structure and energy)
- Breathing (structure and energy)
- Travelling (structure and energy)
- Working with internal symbols (structure and energy)
- Working with internal worlds (structure and energy)
- Working with the body (structure and energy)
- Relaxation (structure and energy)
- My son (energy).
I could probably keep going but I think you get the point. There have been some things that have been very structured and others that have been energy driven. And some that have been both. Some have been very sudden and some have been gradual. What is remarkable about this for me is that I never planned any of this (this thinking represents the structured approach). It just happened. Life unfolded however it wished to unfold. I lived in certain places, traveled to certain places, met certain people, lived and loved certain people, did certain things, experienced certain things, said certain things, sensed certain things, reacted and just experienced. Now here’s the critical point. Sometimes I felt the urge to be very structured. Like when I approached my paid work. I structured my day, I followed up on appointments, I organised meetings, I made phone calls, I wrote finding submissions, etc. And at other times I felt the urge to follow the energy. I often had a hunch about something i should do with a particular person. I had a feeling I should turn down a particular road. I had a feeling I should move my body a particular way. I had a feeling I should explore a certain thing. I swam in the ocean to feel something new and rejuvenating. I walked to a special place, stopped and connected with something I could not see. I paid attention because I felt like something peculiar was about to happen and often it did. I felt the stories beneath the story that a person was telling me because that was the real story they were trying to share with me.
There were times in my life when I thought that I should be far more structured in how I approach things and I could have gone that way. There were other times when I felt I should allow myself to be far more driven by the energy of experience and I could have gone that way. There were times when I ignored one impulse and followed the other one – often to my detriment ! What I eventually came to understand was that it wasn’t necessary to choose one or the either but to accept both. There are times when it is incredibly useful for me to be very structured and systematic (like with my giant ant survey or when I am designing a course or paying my bills) and there are times when it is useful for me to be be very energetically driven (like when I am trying too look after my body or when I am listening to another person or making a making a critical choice). And yet ultimately the two different approaches work best when :
- A. They work together at the same time in relation to a particular thing or
- B. They work in tandem when required in relation to a particular thing.
What this means is that I am integrating my experience fully by using the totality of my being to experience it. And the only way to do that is with awareness. Awareness of the body and the mind. Awareness of mental activity, emotion, the body’s feeling and the energy that surrounds you.
As an organism that recognizes itself as a part of something larger and that may or may not recognize that it is also this larger entity, you can easily forget that you are connected to everything (via the life force) and that you are everything. And if you remember, you can than use the two different ways of functioning and connecting to the universe to create a third way of functioning that includes and transcends both of them. In so doing you function from within The Great Triangle of Your Being.
Many musicians believe that they improvise but actually so often they use a set of well known tools to create something seemingly new. A true improviser feels the energy within and without and creates without depending on what she knows, trusting entirely to what is rising within her. But a great improviser knows both how to use structure (what is known) and how to use energy (what is unknown) to create something truly original. She uses structure to step back and see all possible approaches to herself and the audience and uses energy to let the universe speak through her however it wishes. An integrated approach like this requires an awareness of your conditioning, a willingness to step back and to see, an openness to what is possible, a willingness to control and relinquish control and awareness of mind and body.
Steve Jobs died prematurely because he ignored his body and he followed his mind. He ignored his energy and he followed his structure. But he could have done both and lived a harmonious long life. The same thing happens every day to almost every one you know. They ignore one aspect of functioning in preference to another.
My greatest and only real achievement in life, has been to learn how to function as a whole person, instead of one who has allowed himself to be fragmented.
With this in mind, may the IT gurus among you, learn how to embrace your gut feelings; may the nurses among you, learn to analyze and understand how people relate to one another; may the tradies among you, learn how to change the world by puting your ideas into practice; may the artists among you, stop puting your art second to keeping the wolves at bay; may the Qi Gong practitioners among you, start getting in touch with your deepest emotions; may the physicists among you, start painting those pictures you’ve always seen in your dreams; may the mathematicians among you, start getting in touch with the feelings in your body; may the biologists among you, start noticing the emotions in the animals you study; may the politicians among you, start giving into the things you cannot control; may the doctors among you, start looking after your own bodies when they cry out in pain; may the priests among you, trust in the doctrines in your own hearts in preference to those you learned at the seminary; and may the ordinary men and women among you, start allowing yourself to experience the many aspects of your being.
an opportunity to make choices every single conscious moment
perfect with all of it’s imperfections
whatever you choose it to be
unbearable and crushing
endless change and opportunity
how you use your time and energy
an encounter with the unknown
a dance with the downtrodden and those who get everything for free
fair and unfair
glorious, strange and beautiful
loss and grief, having and losing
love and hatred
not what you plan
desire and satisfaction, yearning and fulfillment
to be enjoyed through the body, with the body, for the body and with a love for the body
a journey of the spirit
presence and distraction
mind and body
process and structure
I and emptiness
an experience of separation and difference, wholeness and sameness
an expression of your unique essence and the essence that connects all of creation
a tango between inner and outer worlds
a drama with many roles and many masks
a void filled with love and war, direction and uncertainty
the mountains and the ravines, the plains and the caves
learning and teaching, giving and receiving
relationship and aloneness
sickness and health, birth and death and everything in between
zero and infinity
creation and destruction.
Why waste time wondering about the purpose of your life ?
And by living, you will experience a life of purpose.
For those of you who are struggling to find your purpose, this is what Dude said when I asked him one of your questions a few years ago. You can read the remainder of his answer here : https://app.box.com/s/4a727tfoppz1ti6efrbzaf9pqbof6u9d
Does every one, every living being, whether that be a person, plant, animal, thing with asoul, have a purpose in the life that they’re currently in ?
The purpose of any living thing is to live and to experience the life force in any way that it chooses to manifest itself. These ideas that humans have that there is some sort of divine purpose, they are mere fictions created by you, to help make sense of life. There is no need for a purpose. You did not come into life to full fill any kind of purpose and yet all your major religions talk of some sort of purpose. It isn’t true that there is a purpose that drives your existence – whether it is your life in your physical form or your life outside of the physical form. Everyone who speaks of purpose is speaking of something else, other than what your life is. You are what you are. Your life is what it is. It doesn’t need to fulfil any kind of becoming, any kind of unstated or known or unconscious purpose. These things that you say are purpose, they are things that help you to feel better about all the uncertainties that life throws up to you. When you have a sense of some grand purpose for your life, it is much easier to endure the hardship and the meaningless of existence. Once again, expectation ! You see life as something that should have an outcome. Your outcomes drive your desires and what you desire more than anything is to believe that this life that you are living is driven by some ultimate goal, some other thing, other than merely existing. You cannot grasp, that life isn’t a thing that is driven by an outcome, it is the outcome – whatever arises. And so it needs no purpose. If you say it has purpose, this is merely a projection of your own weaknesses because you don’t like to see that life is what you make it, regardless of whatever the driving force for your existence in the body. There is no grand purpose to your existing in this life or in any other, other than your one and true aim – which is to experience being what you are. You may not see that but it is true.
What is life ?
In today’s monologue I explore the idea of the body of our life’s work and the bodies of work within our life. I explore how our life is the sum of all our life’s work and is reflected in the final moments of who we are in our life (or at any moment) and how at any moment we are working on a body of work, whether we are conscious of it or not. I speculate that we can consciously choose the bodies of work that fill our life – whether they are visible or invisible and suggest that a life well lived, is one in which we come to understand and develop some awareness of the nature of the bodies of work that we allow to fill our life.
My iPod gave a lot of trouble during this recording and I had to stitch together separate segments after it unexpectedly shut down. Forgive any repetition !
Enjoy ! 😉
I’ve been sitting on Dude’s answer to question 11 for a while now and truth be told, I’ve been hesitant to post it. Primarily because the answer he gave me cuts. This answer is primarily for you Sen. I was concerned that Dude’s answer might upset you and seem unreasonable. I spoke to Dude at length about this and he reassured me that what he had to say was in no way intended to hurt you and if anything intended to help you and to help others who are struggling with the same issue.
I used to be someone who believed in the idea of purpose. In fact so much so that at one point it became an overwhelming obsession to discover my purpose. My quest to discover my purpose caused me immense pain and suffering and it made me sick. It is only the wisdom of a dead man and an ET that saved me from the idea of purpose. So it came as no surprise that Dude responded the way that he did. But I still felt that his answer could be interpreted as harsh. So Sen when you read this, please remember that Dude has more than 80 of his own children and has seen countless beings with conditions that parallel that of your child’s, or worse. His words come from a place of caring and understanding, informed not only by individual lives but by the experience of countless civilizations – human and otherwise.
Please know Sen that I received an answer from Anamika regarding your question within a week of your asking it but I have not had the time to transcribe the audio into text. I also have another answer from an aspect I call Alapo and I will try to write that up as soon as I can. It is my wish that by providing you with 3 very different answers you gain exactly what you need.
I chose to explore Sen’s question from 3 different perspectives because it was a question that is close to my own heart and my own experience. My son was born with a major heart condition and his mother has a brain tumour. I often wondered why. And for much of my life I was tortured by the question of suffering. I once wrote in a poem “How much suffering will fulfill this mystery ?”. The mystery being life and god and why god allows suffering. Eventually I abandoned the question of suffering and realized that it was irrelevant because I saw that to live is to suffer – such is the nature of physical forms and everything that I imagine that God has allowed is just a projection of my own mind. What is, is. It is only suffering from a certain point of view. Of course suffering is all relative and none of us can say what suffering is. Each person has their own suffering in their own way. We all have our own limits, capacities and perceptions.
Do any of us ask how a rock suffers ? Or how a fly suffers ? Or how an electron suffers through change and annihilation. Suffering is real but it is both subjective and objective. And depends entirely upon perception and perspective.
It is clear to me, that like all of you, Sen suffers greatly. It is my wish that Dude’s words will help you Sen to see and to experience things a little differently, with a little less suffering.
You can read Dude’s answer here : https://app.box.com/s/4a727tfoppz1ti6efrbzaf9pqbof6u9d . Enjoy ! 😉
I’m sitting here in my floppy blue camping chair by the open fire, after a long day renovating my old farm house with my son, in preparation for our big move this coming week. And as I have been sitting here absolutely exhausted, it’s occurred to me how much my mind has wandered today as I was working. Once, while I was in my son’s room crouched over painting the skirting boards, my back was hurting like hell and I found myself thinking about how alcohol and work addiction fill both sides of my family tree. Then later while I was painting, I noticed I was thinking about my time at university and how all the people I knew who were into avant garde music, seemed to lack any real emotional depth or feeling for the suffering of others. Then finally, as I neared the end of the skirting boards, I noticed that I was thinking about the conflict I’ve been having recently with my son and wondering whether our relationship will deteriorate as it did with my own father or whether this is just a phase, as it was when my grandfather said I was just going through a phase when I was angry with the world in my early 20’s. Every time these little mental departures occurred, I found myself asking “why am I thinking this ?”, before swiftly bringing my attention back to the body. But no sooner was my attention inside my body, when my mind went racing off into another discursive excursion. And so at some point, all of these little departures from attention to the body, reminded me of what life used to be like here prior to the birth of my son in 1999.
I used to work a lot outside and spent very little time on the internet or watching television. In late Spring and Summer we would have to mow the grass with our push mower. We never had the money to afford a ride-on mower, so we were stuck mowing the 4-5 acres around the house, the hard way. The grass was often thick and long and it was hot, dusty work. You’d be covered with about 50 bush flies and they’d be constantly trying to get on your face and in your eyes. You’d be sweating like a pig and your mouth and throat would be choking up with dust. And it was under these conditions, that I would often find my mind wandering back to my past. Back to some of the most painful and difficult periods of my past and especially back to the time when I lived with my uncle – who I later discovered was a serial paedophile. At the time I lived with my uncle, I had suspicions that he was up to no good but I had no way of proving it and besides he terrified the hell out of me, so I didn’t dare lift the covers on any of his dirty little secrets. My uncle had been sent to boarding school, the youngest of 3 brothers and had hated the experience. When I ran away from boarding school in year 11 and landed on the cold floor of his garage in the middle of the night, he welcomed me into his home, fully aware of the terrors of boarding school. As a young man in his 20’s my uncle had spent 8 years in the notorious Long Bay Jail for theft. Occasionally when he was really drunk, he would talk to me about his time there and about the fights he’d seen and the people he’d seen killed in jail. Long Bay taught my uncle to be tough, violent and manipulative and it was the only way he seemed to know how to survive. Mostly he was very kind to me but I was privileged enough to see his violent side. Like the time he broke his wife’s’ jaw in the middle of the night and the time he threatened to kill her in front of my best buddy and I. My friend David, was a 17 year old Arnold Schwarzenegger but when he saw my uncles temper, he shit himself and ran out of the house and all the way back to boarding school. Somehow I grew used to my uncles violent outbursts and his split personality. My nice guy to the people he liked and an angel to his relatives and a tyrant to people who crossed him the wrong way. Years later after he hung himself, the evidence for my claim that he was a paedophile and a drug addict came to light but it was quickly swept under the family carpet. To this day my grandmother knows nothing about what her son was really like. And in her eyes, he will always be her angel.
Not long after I was diagnosed with my primary tumour, I forgave my uncle. After years of being tormented by my memories of him and by countless dreams of being tortured by him, I realised I didn’t need to be imprisoned any more.
Those hot days mowing the grass, ruminating on my experiences with my Uncle Peter, were absolute hell for me. They were a hell that I created for myself and a hell that I alone had to endure. And while at first it seems that I suffered needlessly, I did not suffer in vain. This kind of mindless suffering was exactly what I needed to arouse the desire to find a path to be free of my suffering. And in many ways, living here in perfect silence was just what I needed. Because silence allowed me to wallow in my suffering, until ultimately I could stand it no more. Silence helped me to imprison myself and when I’d finally had enough, I was desperate to find a way out. I looked in many different places but eventually it was my return to Buddhism and meditation that made all the difference. Slowly I began to understand how mind functions and how mind creates both heaven and hell. And eventually I began to see that mind itself arises from primordial emptiness and I began to accept the moments when all self disappears and when self returns.
My torture at the hands of an uncle who was already dead, was a great catalyst for my own spiritual development. A spiritual development that took place along a very unpredictable and unplanned spiritual journey, which has been filled with people, places, events and accidents I did not see coming. A person could write volumes on exactly what spiritual development is and what a spiritual journey is but it is probably enough to say, that development is the unfolding of the spirit and the journey is the passage through which the unfolding of the spirit occurs. We could also write volumes on what the spirit is as well and argue about spirit and soul and the interchangeability of the two but I think we can simplify things, by saying that the spirit is the life force that is within us. Any kind of discussion about spirituality, will inevitably use words that will point to other words and require endless definitions, that will vary from person to person and culture to culture. I think every human being has some sense of their own spiritual journey and can recognise that we are all on our own spiritual journey.
There have been many other catalysts for my own spiritual development. My mindless addiction to my uncles torture, was only one of them. Perhaps the greatest catalyst for my spiritual development, was leaving this farm a decade ago. It was something I really didn’t want to do. But I had to do it because I had separated from my partner and because life here was way too hard. When we left here, I grieved for at least two years. I remember one time coming back for a visit and sitting on the steps sobbing uncontrollably. It was like there was a hole in my heart I just couldn’t fill. This was the first place in my entire life, that I had called home. All of my other homes were temporary. I had four homes before my parents divorced, when I was eleven. Four homes during holidays when my Dad lived in Hong Kong. Five and a half years in six different dormitories in a boarding school. Seven different homes while at university. Two homes after university. I’d lost count of how many places I’d lived in before I lived here. And then all of a sudden, I left the only home I had come to know and love.
But what seemed like a difficult choice back then, changed the course of my life for the better. Because we left this place, I was able to embrace new opportunities that I would never have been able to experience any other way. I had the chance to live in 3 homes by the coast and 1 in the mountains. Two of the most beautiful places in the state. I had the opportunity to experience the 4 seasons from two totally different geographical perspectives. And in so doing I became familiar with the idiosyncrasies of each place and the tiny changes that an outsider would never notice. I worked with Aboriginal people, farmers, children and adults who had mental illness and the adults and children who cared for them, couples who were having relationship troubles, adolescents who were having a hard time with life, addicts of all kinds, people in charge of schools, national and state bodies, NGOs and government agencies. I developed skills I didn’t have before and strengthened the skills I already had. I managed projects in the community development and environmental field. I deepened my knowledge and experience of counselling and psychotherapy. I explored Buddhism, Hinduism, Mysticism, Gnosticism, Christianity, Neo Advaita and Shamanism in far greater depth. I discovered that my son had an ear problem and went through two major life changing surgeries with him. I learned that my ex wife had a brain tumour and had suffered in the silence. I was diagnosed with a major tumour in my left kidney and had my kidney removed, stayed healthy for a few years and then learned I had new tumours. I was told I may have 3-6 months to live and outwitted such a stupid prognosis ! I discovered the coastline of southern Victoria and the mountains of western Victoria. I lost several people who were part of my life. I learned how to make conscious contact with ETs and had face to face contact more than 40 times. I made contact with the Yowie people where I lived and a creature that some describe as the Batsquatch. I started writing a biography; compiled a book of 500 + poems; wrote 3 plays and a musical; half wrote a book on consciousness; half wrote two novels and several short stories. I wrote half a dozen blogs, including Otherworldly Encounters blog and began ET and I. I started the Global Conscious Project and the Global ET Contact Research network – terminating both early in their life. I began developing a new psychological framework based on Aspects of Self. I continued working on Journeying in the past and future and became fully aware of the risk of a major catastrophic solar event. I began to fully understand the Small Self and Greater Self. I seeded several community development projects – one of which one a National Indigenous Award. I started and dropped numerous projects, when I realised they were going nowhere. I had countless bored erections and heard countless jokes ! I met lots of wonderful people in real life and online. I made many wonderful friendships with people in other countries, who I will probably never meet. I met Dude and he took me back in time and into my own future, before later taking me off world to visit one of his favourite worlds. I learned all about the Teal’hia and Sawronde and was taken to merge with the Light, that I came to know as God. I learned that many of the things my ex wife had hinted at in relation to The Architecture and the worlds power structures and the extent of their surveillance, were true. Which was something I had doubted for many years ! I met many people who died of cancer, while I was on my own journey with a life threatening illness. I saw animals I had wanted to see – including Sharks, Sting Rays, Turtles, Sea Eagles, Cormorants, Gannets, Southern Right Whales, Humpback Whales, Blue Whales, Penguins, Seals, Fish, Deer, Kangaroos, Emus, Black Panthers etc. I met Aboriginal people who told me about the stories their grandparents told them about the great coastal massacres and the suicides and murders on the missions. I met Aboriginal people I was able to foresee would become healers, who I was able to help in their own healing. I started my documentary Before I Die, which connected me with the hearts of several dozen people and which promises to take me on a fascinating journey. I learned about Dadaji, Ram Thakur, Mother Meera, Sweet Mother and a host of other spiritual guides. I had more than 3,000 dreams, a third of which I was able to document. I read thousands of books, pdfs, articles, blog posts and documents. I watched hundreds of videos and listened to hundreds of podcasts. I meditated an hour most days in sitting meditation and practised deep relaxation. I had countless conversations with guides, dead people and ETs. I discovered caves, mountains, beaches, islands, swimming holes, deserts, trees, forests, rocks and sand, I did not previously know about. I experienced landslides, floods, fires, earth tremors, storms, tornadoes, king tides and cancer inducing pollution from the Glaxo Smith Kline factory up the road from my home in Port Fairy. I found funding for projects that planted 120-150,000 trees and planted several thousand trees, bushes and grasses myself. I watched my son transform, from a shy little 6 year old into a ball scratching, Cosplay loving, girl addicted, electronic game loving, confident 16 year old; who makes me immensely proud ! But some days I want to kill him ! I found loving homes for two cats and a dog that we could no longer care for and developed a love hate relationship with my two latest cats – Mishka and Grumpy. I ran numerous tree planting days, taught mindfulness and healing classes and started two very lame ass podcasts. One of which you know ! I made about 200 crappy songs, when I had nothing better to do but waste my time doodling out some tunes on Fruity Studio, Audacity and Ableton Live. I recorded hundreds of hours of sound – birds, frogs, the wind, telegraph lines, fence wires, cars, city scaoes, beaches, crickets, cicadas and various impromptu sound effects. I wrote several thousand work related and personal emails. I received about 20 letters from distant relatives and wrote 1 in return ! Which is something I will try to rectify this year, before it’s too late ! No less than a dozen people tried to heal me – none of them at my request ! I had excruciating tooth ache, back pain and tumour related pain. I practised Pal Dan Gum Qi Gong regularly, practised 9 Palaces Qi Gong and developed my own form of free style Qi Gong. I walked several thousand km and drove 250,000 plus km. I made grass circles with my son. I scanned thousands of kilometers of country side looking for crop circles and only found 3. I had lots of conversations with people about witchcraft, spirituality, Aboriginal ceremonies, UFOs, aliens, crop circles, mental illness, shamanism, re-vegetation, plants, birds, zoos, biodiversity, people, population growth, the population problem, space travel, science, technology, education, music, literature, books, films, comedy, illness, healing, health, culture, politics, religion, spirituality. I listened to hundreds of peoples stories, experiences, fears, dramas, pain, suffering, hopes, desires, wishes, secrets and aspirations. I took my son to countless events and started a Magic the Gathering club for he and his friends. I spied on those who spy on me. I held dozens of animals, walked on snakes, picked up lizards, walked and swam with fish, krill and jelly fish. I entered dozens of peoples homes, mostly for work. I had several people I supported commit suicide and imagined their ghosts in my home, wishing there was more I could have done to save them. I had lots of arguments with my son, yelled and abused tourists, met lots of my son’s male and female friends, looked into my sons future, met people from Canada, Bhutan, India, England, Ireland, Hong Kong, China, the US, France, Pakistan, Sri Lanka and all parts of Australia. I witnessed the great influx of people from India into the state of Victoria and saw the city of Melbourne change it’s cultural flavour. I pondered the two great issues which face this precious world – biodiversity loss and the ever expanding human population.
And now after all of this, I return to my old home. I don’t tell you these things because I want your praise or to flaunt my ego.
I tell you because had I not left here, I would have experienced none of these things. Every one of them, has been part of my spiritual journey. Some have acted as catalysts, rapidly accelerating my spiritual development, while others have slowly deepened the layers of my spiritual life and added colour to my spiritual journey.
While it’s possible to say that our spiritual journeys can be described by specific archetypal patterns, it’s also possible to say that everyone’s spiritual journey is unique. Some spiritual journeys are filled with suffering, while some are filled with joy; others are filled with confusion and mistakes; while yet others are filled with achievements and success. My own spiritual journey has been filled with all of these things and has in many ways, spanned the entire gamut of human emotions. My pain and suffering has been by far the greatest catalyst. The threat of dying, forced me to face my own mortality and to try to truly understand the nature of my human experience. It has given me a kind of spiritual short cut, that I could not have gained in any other way. Meeting beings from other worlds and learning about the nature of time and mind, has forced me to embrace a much wider perception of reality. Merging with the Light, has helped me to accept my own finite body and to know without doubt that life is eternal and that life is meaningful. I know now that everything in life has a place and a purpose. And yet I no longer believe that there is any purpose to life, except to live fully, embracing all that arises – good and bad. Merging with the Light, also helped me to know for certain, that everything is an expression of God.
I have no idea what lay ahead in my future (apart from what Dude showed me). But I am excited that I am still here. I know that time and age will remain my greatest teachers. Unlike a lot of folks, I look forward to getting older ! Because it’s only with age, as the body moves closer to death, that we begin to truly see what we are and learn how best to live and to love. I believe that our true spiritual development unfolds from the cradle to the grave and beyond. And I honestly feel like I’m a little boy, who has just opened his eyes from a long deep sleep and I want to see what can be seen and experience all that I can before it’s time to leave !
I’d love to hear about the colours of your spiritual journey and how the unexpected detours and choices in your life have reshaped you !
When I was first diagnosed with a big fat tumour in June 2007, I think I was expecting it. I’d spent the last 15 years of my life trying to do everything I could to turn my life around but I continued to feel so much pain and suffering. I’d probably had my tumour for 20 years and so the pain I felt for many years before I was diagnosed, was in some way, very real. When my kidney hurt, it hurt for a real reason – because it was slowly shutting down. And if I hadn’t had surgery and had my kidney removed that August, I would have died. Because back then I had no real idea what my tumour was about and why I was suffering so much.
The 2 months between my diagnosis and my surgery was the hardest period of my life and in the first two weeks, I felt a deep dread that my life was over. In that two months I faced my own mortality and prepared for the end of my life. That feeling would return several times in the next 5 years. But something else also happened. I connected to a part of myself that had laid hidden all my life and began to feel a deep connection to God, the Creator, Source, whatever you want to call it. And I felt that here was an opportunity to turn my life around and heal. I had no choice. I had to see it that way or I was dead. I’d worked in a Radiotherapy unit and I’d studied the cell biology of cancer for 2 decades and I knew that people with aggressive renal cancer died quickly. Surgery had taken out the primary tumour (maybe) but it was likely that micrometastisis was well underway throughout my body and no amount of chemo or radiotherapy would cure it. In the year after my surgery I explored every imaginable kind of treatment and quickly grew tired of all the miracle suggestions that were coming my way from otherwise ignorant but well-meaning people. Suggestions that continue to come my way !
In the period shortly after my diagnosis, I was also visited by several dead people and I was given another name from an old Native Indian man. Ghosts came to my house frequently and I felt I was being looked after. I began to be more aware of the dead people who watched out for me (my guides) and other formless entities who were occasionally came to my attention.
But in other ways I felt incredibly alone. More alone than I had ever felt in my entire life.
People who cared about me reached out to me and my son and my ex wife looked after me. People came to visit but mostly I frightened them and they never came back. I seemed to remind them of their own mortality. So they went back to being busy, working hard and smoking like chimneys ! The people I worked with only seemed to lament that they had more work. I felt deeply betrayed.
My work with people in the cancer setting and in the broader context of psychotherapy, counselling, group work and community development projects; had taught me a great deal about why people suffer. And since 1989 I’d been exploring a diverse spiritual path that embraced teachings from a wide range of traditions, including Buddhism, Neo Advaita, Shamanism, Traditional First Nations and First Australian spirituality, Christian Mysticism and Taoism. I’d had dozens of strange experiences, including my ET contacts. I’d explored my own other lives – including 2 other lives in which I was involved with my ex-wife and my son. I’d explored a whole range of psychotherapy practices – including Jung’s work, Entheogen work, CBT, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, Art Therapy, Music Therapy, Systems Theory, Chaos Theory applications to counselling, Freud’s work and so on. I was yet to really absorb a wider range of psychotherapy practices – such as Transpersonal Psychology, Holodynamics, Process Psychology, Primal Scream work, Hypnotherapy, Holotropic Breath Work etc. I had been heavily into the Romantic poets when I was younger and was looking for something in them but I couldn’t find it. I found a sense of what I was after, in Walt Whitman, The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam, the writings of WH Hudson and the Writings of John Paul 2. I was looking for something for so long, almost all of my life and I couldn’t find it.
In 1994 I began connecting with the Aboriginal spirits of a local mountain and it became sacred to me (https://etandi.wordpress.com/2014/11/12/tsm8-a-tour-across-burra-burra-mountain-of-the-eagle-with-bright-and-toa-2/) . These people would come and visit my home, and interact with my baby son. They continued to teach me about nature and reality. Later I would learn about a connection between them and the Teal’hia and how they were playing a role in helping me to remember who I am. After I was diagnosed they continued to connect with me and helped me to see a much bigger picture. Sometimes they were harsh and firm and sometimes they were gentle. But they always cared.
In 1994 I also began exploring consciousness and to see in other places and other times. I was looking for an understanding of the patterns of my lives and trying desperately to understand reality. But all the while I knew something was missing.
Since I was a little boy, I tried hard to be a good person. I practiced love and compassion and tried hard to be a kind person. But people continued to walk all over me and ignore me. I continued to give freely, as much as I could but very few people ever gave anything in return. Giving was the way I lived. And eventually it was almost the death of me.
Then on January 2011, the Teal’hia and Sawrnode came to visit me and took me to merge with the Light – a light that I came to know as God and I remembered that all this time, I have been searching for HOME. I found it and then I came back to my body and back to Earth. But I know that HOME is inside all of us. It’s just that sometimes the Little I gets a little stuck and we forget. I was given the ultimate gift and I wish I could share it with you but you can only know it through experience.
* * *
So after coming close to dying at least twice, as a result of my tumours, here’s what I have learned. I am happy to pass these lessons onto you because this time I know I give to people who appreciate what I have to give. At least one of you will benefit from this and that makes sharing worth while. You are God and I am God and God is in all of us. So I am merely acknowledging you, as you acknowledge me. In no particular order, here is what I have learned :
- Love life above everything else. It is a precious gift and opportunity. Treat life with reverence. Life is sacred.
- Live your greatest possible vision of who you are.
- You are the LIFE FORCE. Feel what you are. Feel the life pulsing through you.
- Be true to your own spirit, all the time. never compromise who you are. NEVER !
- You matter. You are unique. You will only ever exist once, in all of existence.
- Live what matters to you. Don’t try to be anyone elses expectation of you.
- Make life count. Don’t sit around on the couch dreaming of if only’s Get out there and fucking do it ! Live the Nike slogan ! Don’t put off doing what you have always wanted to do. GO AND FUCKING DO IT ! And if you can’t afford it, do the next best thing ! LIVE YOUR FUCKIT LIST !!!
- Decide what really matters to you and prioritize where to put your time. That way when you die, you will feel fulfilled. Fulfillment is time spent well.
- Let love fill your infirmities. You are loved by countless beings – humans alive and dead, ETs alive and dead, animals, plants, formless beings and the Creator itself. Allow that love into your heart and give love freely, wherever the opportunity arises. Love the Small Self that is your unique individual sense of you and the Greater Self – which is god within and the All that is everything and in everything. (I still struggle to love what is within others I dislike but I’m working at it).
- A person is ill for a reason. Discover that reason and attend to what you discover.
- Express WHO YOU ARE FEARLESSLY ! Express your thoughts, feelings, desires, actions and your very being !
- Act without any thought of an outcome (This one I still struggle with).
- Treat the body as a precious temple, a sacred space. The body matters and is your vehicle to the Greater Self, so you better treat it well. Don’t smoke, drink moderately, exercise, eat well but not fanatically, eat naturally (no need for any supplements or weird things) enjoy some junk food now and then, really love food and the experience of eating and sharing a meal.
- Remember the breath. When it all gets too much, just breathe. Become one with the breath. The breath is the rhythm that kickstarts all rhythms in the body. Stop and notice it from time to time. While you’re alive, THE BREATHE IS TIME.
- It is your capacity to FEEL, that will help you to HEAL.
- You can feel HEALED when you allow yourself to feel what you want. Stop getting in the way. (Take it from someone who is a master of getting in the way !).
- Let go of all that would bind you and prevent you from feeling FREE.
- Feel everything – absolutely everything that arises in your experience of being. Deny nothing. That way you will have a full experience of every moment. (Kanatek’s healing teaching No. 1).
- You are of the Earth, not separate. (Kanatek’s healing teaching No. 2). You are One with Earth. Earth gave you everything you know. This means, treat Earth well. Revere Earth and remember it is sacred. When you open up to Earth’s sacredness, it will teach you all you need to know. You are bound to Earth energetically and materially. Remember that and connect with bare Earth often.
- Everything comes to its own natural end, when it is ready. (Kanatek’s healing teaching NO. 3). All phenomena rise and fall. Disease rises and falls. If you listen to it and take what it has to teach you to heart, it goes away, because it is no longer needed. If you ignore it, it will continue to speak to you and cause suffering. It may ultimately kill you.
- There is no such thing as evil. Only ignorance. Realize that some people are comfortable being ignorant.
- We need to discover what is at the core of our dreams. Don’t obsess with following your dreams, discover what is inside them and honour that.
- See the infinite diversity of God in everything within and without. God is expressing itself through everything you encounter in your experience of life. Enjoy that and be fascinated by that. Give thanks for that.
- If you have a life threatening illness, ignore ALL suggestions to modify your diet, try miracle cures, take special supplements, try this or that energetic exercise or meditation or go to anyone special who can cure you. Trust in your own intuitions and inner voices. Ask for guidance from the Creator and from your own guides.
- If you have a life threatening illness, learn about it from a medical perspective and then throw everything out. Do not buy into statistics, doctors prognosis, online or face to face support groups or the negative or overly positive opinions of others (think only positive thoughts – what a load of crap !).
- Your life is driven by THOUGHT FORMS – IDEAS YOU BELIEVE IN. They become the unconscious and conscious motivators and controllers of your emotional, mental and physical development. Unearth the Thought Forms that drive you and create Healthy Thought Forms.
- Heal broken relationships if you can, otherwise accept how things are.
- Bend but never break.
- Learn to see all of the things that worry or concern you and to accept how they make you feel. You don’t have to fix everything, Learn to sit with the feeling they arouse in you and in time the feeling will diminish and they will no longer be problems.
- Love nature and nature will love you and nurture you.
- Every day take a few minutes at least, to sit outside and just experience being.
- Plant trees because trees create life. This planet needs more trees, to sustain life. Be a creator instead of a destroyer.
- Think wisely with the heart about every decision you make. Take a long time to make big decisions, if you have that liberty.
- You can take joy wherever you go. Don’t make excuses.
- Many of us have a fear of abandonment and a fear of success. Discover where they come from and see how they have shaped your life. When you understand them, you can uproot them.
- There is no need for any religion, any ritual, any mantra, any practice, any meditation, any sacrifice, any commitment, any escaping, any transcendence, any penance, any self-inflicted suffering, any charity, any anything; to know God, Simply look at the world around you and the world within and allow yourself to feel love. God is always within. As close as your breath, as close as your heart beat.
- Being is your true nature. Doing is mostly driven by an unaware ego. Discover how your ego works. Doing fulfills needs, desires, longing and dreams. Doing leads to endless craving because everything you carve is impermanent. Being is characterized by stillness, silence, freedom and love. Develop Self Awareness by looking within. That way when you are doing, you will honour being and will be acting from a place of integrity, rather than a place of ignorance.
- FREEDOM arises when we let go of everything WE THINK WE ARE. Find out who you really are. What is it that is asking “What am I ?” ?
- If you wish to feel something, do what creates that feeling. If you wish to feel loved, do things that create love. If you wish to feel healed, do things that create healing. If you wish to feel healthy, do things that create health.
- Find what you love to do and do it recklessly, with great zest and passion and enjoyment. Be in the act of expression and don’t be consumed by the outcome or be attached to what you’re doing. Do and enjoy, and then let go. Embrace the next moment. Don’t let passion create attachment. Passion can be vice or a virtue. Use it wisely.
- Desire is OK. You are here to experience the desire that comes with a body. You can’t live without it. But from time to time examine all the desires in your life and discover which ones are healthy and which ones are unhealthy. Lose those that are unhealthy for you.
- You create time within. Understand how the mind works and time changes.
- Use your time wisely by seeing how you waste time.
- Share your wealth because there is no ATM where you’re going and because wealth can ease some suffering.
- Know yourself and then you can express yourself.
- Let go of control and expectation. (Dude taught me that one !).
- Understand non duality, so you can transform the energy of desire.
- Mind unfolds when we honour the process of oneness. There are thousands of ways to practice being at One with the universe.
- Your night dreams are here to teach you and awaken you what you need. Your day dreams are here to teach you about what you are not attending to and your deepest needs.
- Let go of poor patterns of relating and see healthier ways of relating.
- You are separate in a relative sense (in relation to) and not separate in an absolute sense. You are I and not I. The Small Self and the Greater Self.
- Your vision of work must include those things that help you to honour your deepest needs and makes you feel ALIVE.
- Everybody is just trying to do the best they can. So try to understand that everyone is suffering. Mostly be kind and sometimes stand up to people when you need to.
- Take responsibility for how you react mentally, emotionally, physically and verbally. Understand what agitates you and your own reactivity.
- The world is full of injustice, unfairness and assholes. Fight for what is worth fighting for and Illegitimi non carborundum (Never let the bastards grind you down)
- We are known by the GAPS WE LEAVE BEHIND. So make sure you leave gaps that are worth the ache that might last a life time.
- YOU ARE THE POWERS THAT BE. No one else. Real power is in you. Not outside in those who seem to control the human world.
Here’s my latest TSM, TSM 61 – a long TSM (1hr:29 mins) I recorded this morning on my walk. Yes I missed a whole bunch. I’m still wading through editing and changing file formats on another 22 TSMs. So this is where I’m at today.
In this monologue I explore the idea of the Greater Self with a couple of basic exercises tat I practice and I explore that age old drama – the purpose of your life and the meaning of life. Given it’s a subject that troubled me for many years, I thought I would give back what I’ve learned, so that it might benefit those of you struggling with the same issue. I understand the issue now in a way which brings great peace to my day to day experience of life. And its my wish that this discussion helps you to reach the same sense of peace with your life.
Excuse the wind early on and my constant discussions about the wild life !
Many years ago I tried to make a painting about the many paths to God. It was a rendition of the mountain metaphor. It was covered with people climbing the mountain on all sides. Above some of them were symbols of the major religions. I guess it was my effort to convey the desire to know God. In my painting some folks were on top of the mountain, some had been to the top and turned back, some gave up part way up the mountain and others were at the foot of the mountain, unsure of whether they would climb or assessing what lay ahead. I never actually finished the painting. It was just too hard and I had too little talent. But I have continued to think about how people try to find God.
After my experience of being taken by the Teal’hia/Sawronde to merge with THE LIGHT on January 19th, 2011; I came to realize completely, that God is everything and in everything. All doubt faded on that day. But despite the apparent gift of my shortcut, it was a long journey to that point. I had explored many different beliefs and many different religious traditions, in addition to a host of psychotherapy practices and ideas about consciousness.
I’m not sure what the best metaphor for looking for God is and I suspect it is different for every person. Sometimes it is a path and sometimes there is no path (the pathless path). Perhaps it doesn’t really matter how we describe the journey, so long as at some point we accept that we’re on a journey and we accept that one day the journey must end.
I know without a doubt that the journey will only end when I merge back completely with the creator – at a point when I am content to no longer I AM and move past all desire to exist in any way that can be perceived as separate. That may seem a contradiction, after telling you that I believe God is everything but it is not.
So I’d like to explore a few paths to God that I have explored, that might perhaps provide some of you with something that you did not have before.
When I was a boy, I loved to roam in the wild. I would walk the hills behind our home in Adelaide and then later in western NSW and the jungles of Hong Kong. I’d pick up snakes and lizards and catch bugs and frogs and tadpoles. Harry Butler, the then famous Naturalist and host of Into the Wild was my hero (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Butler). I was totally in love with the natural world. Slowly I began to feel that God was nature. Then came Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back and with it an idea called The Force. I felt very strongly that God was like The Force, in that he/it was an energy that permeated everything in the universe. I had imagined God as this huge body that included the cosmos. It was only much later as an adult I learned about Pantheism – the belief that the universe is God (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantheism). At about the same time Jesus was being shoved down my throat and so I found myself believing in this disincarnate dead guy and his legion of esteemed relatives and followers. Only later as a young man, did I truly begin to understand Jesus’s proclamation that “the kingdom of God is within”. Of course I had an automatic aversion to all ideas of Christ Consciousness but as I grew older, I softened to this idea. Flirting with Theosophy and Magick, had opened me up to the idea that we all have a kind of universal consciousness within. around the same time, I found my self studying comparative religion and talking to people of many different faiths. I wanted to know how well they understood their tradition and how they understood God.
After my flirt with Theosophy and Magick, I began writing/funneling information from books in a technique I called “Cutting Books” – in which I would allow my fingers to be drawn automatically to specific pages, words and phrases and I would hear additional words and phrases in my mind. There’s a formal name for this process, or a variation of it – different to what I did but I can no longer remember what it is called. This technique provided me with a great deal of guidance and wisdom. I also did a form of Asemic writing (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asemic_writing), which I later abandoned, as I had no idea what I was writing.
After I finished my science degree, I moved onto a farm and I fell in love with the works of people like Walt Whitman (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walt_Whitmanand) W H Hudson (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Henry_Hudson) – writers who seemed to share the same beliefs and love of the natural world. All the while, I still had this discomfort that God was also human beings. How could something so cruel be human. And then I got stuck on the great mystery of suffering. While that churned away inside of me, I began learning from a sacred mountain called Burra Burra (https://etandi.wordpress.com/2014/11/12/tsm8-a-tour-across-burra-burra-mountain-of-the-eagle-with-bright-and-toa-2/). The mountain taught me about the great web of life and the cycles of nature. In addition I learned about the connection between the Aboriginal people (whose spirits still reside there) and the ETs, who handed down the LAW. Through the Aboriginal spirits I began learning about Shamanism – both Australian and other forms. I did a systematic review of all of the various forms of Shamanism and tried to learn about the common elements. I was also deeply drawn to Native American spirtuality and teh idea of the Great Spirit. Buddhism then popped up again for me but this time it stuck. In Buddhism I found a way to understand the nature of suffering and could see clearly, for the first how humans function.
About the same time I began having more conscious and semi conscious interactions with the ETs. I began to feel a deep connection with them and found myself wondering “why would these beings half way across the universe to visit me ?”. Through the often very uncomfortable and turbulent experience of having contact with beings from other worlds, I began to discover real love, real compassion and a deeper understanding of God.
But I continued seeking something…something elusive. Something kept me looking outwards, more than looking inwards.
I soon discovered channeling and read A Course in Miracles http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Course_in_Miracles/http://www.acim.org/ and some of Jane Robert’s (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Roberts) Seth books. I realised that I had been doing something like channeling since 1994 but I believed I had been tuning into dead people and talking to what I came to identify as different Aspects of Self (https://etandi.wordpress.com/2014/11/18/tsm17-aspects-of-self-a-revolutionary-technique-for-developing-self-awarenesswarnbing/).
Around the same time, I discovered the New Thought movement (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Thought/http://austincsl.org/index.php/audio-archive/audio-archive-2014/ , which like Pantheism, sees everything as divine. The New Thought movement was heavily influenced by the 4 gospels, evolutionism and Advaita. I found it comforting that 150 years ago, people found a way past religious dogma. But I discovered that some schools of New Thought did become very religious and secular, while others maintained an open attitude to all religions. I suspect the New Thought movement laid the foundation for Esther Hicks/The Law of Attraction and The Secret and much of the New Age movement.
While I was busy with all this, I continued to have experiences with guides and was greatly influenced by Jaoshan and Kanatek, who as I have said before come from a time that predates Taoism, Confusim and Buddhism. They taught me different ways of seeing Buddhism and Taoism and the nature of reality. They don’t use the word God and like Taoism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taoism), see the ultimate achievement we can make as the unification of our awareness the with the universe. This, in other words, is the ultimate realisation of oneness.
Later I stumbled on Advaita (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advaita_Vedanta) (after a brush with the Bhagdavad Gita (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhagavad_Gita) in 1990-93) and Neo Advaita (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neo-Advaita), which lead me to modern teachings on Non Duality and of course to the great teacher, Ramana Maharshi (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramana_Maharshi). Ramana taught that we should use a process of Self Inquiry to discover the root of the I Thought – a process which we begin by asking “”Who am I ?” and refine by asking “Who is it that is asking “Who am I ?”. I discovered very quickly that this could lead me to place of pure awareness where the I disappears. This seemed to me to be the same or similar experience that arises from Dzogchen (Calm Abiding) Meditation – although I am still uncertain about this. Ramana encouraged people to think about WHO IS THE DOER ? This way of thinking fed into what I had been learning from Big Mind Zen (http://bigmind.org/) and various psychotherapies that encouraged a movement away from the idea of a static self. In essence I think what Ramana is teaching, is that God or what I came to see as the Greater Self, is the only thing doing anything.
From Ramana Maharshi, I began exploring entire lineages of Indian gurus. Those that resonated most with me included Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nisargadatta_Maharaj), Sri Anandamayi Ma (Sweet Mother) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anandamayi_Ma/http://www.anandamayi.org/books/matrivani.htm/http://www.anandamayi.org/ashram/cc.htm, Adi Da (American : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adi_Da), Ramakrishna (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramakrishna) and Sri Vivekenanda (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swami_Vivekananda).
Later a friend from Germany introduced me to Dadaji (http://www.dadaji.info/https://app.box.com/s/4a606ti63jy05uxo6xpr – all material freely supplied by Ann Mills), who seemed to be saying the same thing as Ramana. Dadaji, the anti guru guru, pushes this question of DOERSHIP even further and was able to demonstrate that he is merely a conduit for God, through countless so called miracles. I too even experienced Dadaji’s famous Fragrance wafting through my car as I read a book about him. The same friend also introduced me to Mother Meera (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother_Meera/http://www.mothermeera.com/) , who gives Darshan (divine blessings – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dar%C5%9Bana ) in silence. I visited Mother 3 times and the first time had a remarkable transformative dream and a very strange experience in her presence.
But in the last two years I have begun to drift away from the persons of Dadaji and Mother Meera. I see them more as products of cultural conditioning. Dadaji is still a great teacher to me. And I still have a great deal of respect for the teachings of Ramana Maharshi.
At some point, I think Is started to trust my own understanding and my own wisdom.
And then there are the ETs. When you have developed relationships with ETs, it’s hard to accept even the greatest of teachings as teh ultimate truth.
My first feelings of connection to God through the ETs came in 1997, when the Teal’hia visited me in my bedroom. Even though Anamika was in a non physical form, I could still feel a divine kind of love emanating from her. Later in 2009 when teh Sawronde visited me in my backyard, I looked into their eyes and it was as if I fell into Gods embrace. I felt like I was home. Then in 2011 when the Sawronde and Teal’hia took me HOME to merge with THE LIGHT, I finally understood the true nature of God and became everything. Part of my great frustration now is that I am here, stuck in a world with suffering and sometimes THE LIGHT seems so far away. I found myself stuck at times in the perception of separation and forgetting what I knew as THE LIGHT.
Since that time, I have had many other face to face encounters and have developed a more intimate connection with many of the ETs. Actually, it hasn’t developed, I’ve just remembered that I have this connection with them. I talk regularly with Anamika and she is teaching about God and the nature of reality. I meet regularly with another group of 8 ETs (from 5 races) using one of the internal worlds methods and they too are teaching me about God and the nature of reality.
Many people in contact with the ETs are being taught different things. For me, it’s primarily about the nature of reality and the nature of God. Because that’s what I have always wanted to know.
Mostly I have given up seeking. But I remain open to learning more, when the opportunity arises. I don’t need it but I appreciate it. I’m no longer really very interested in what any human has to teach. I want to learn from the Creator Races – those beings who know that they are GOD INCARNATE.
In the last few years I have also developed a deeper relationship with Dude. And Dude never talks about God, which utterly amazes me ! And yet he is teaching me more about the nature of reality than anyone else. My recent trip through time (or space as he would say), demonstrated to me how consciousness creates reality and the perception of reality. At some point, it is my wish to push Dude into explaining what God means to him and perhaps he might help me to explore this in an experiential way.
Through the ETs and through the 45 year journey of this life, I have come to understand that God is infinite and eternal. God seeks to express itself and experience itself through an infinite number of forms. God is both form and formless, potential and manifested. You can call God what you like. Who cares ? But through YOU God is experiencing itself. The sense that it is separate and the sense that it is whole.
What seems to be missing for most people, is the perception that you are separate and already whole.
In many ways, I guess I have come full circle. I relate more to the naturalist Pantheists than any other group of believers. And in many ways I don’t think Star Wars was too far off the mark !
The God I believe in is huge and unfathomable. It is all of creation and all that could be created. My God has an infinite number of faces. And when I look out into the world, frustrated and angry with teh mess we’ve created and with those who are committing atrocities, I try to remind myself that I’m looking at another expression of God.
I no longer believe in the Great Mystery Of Suffering. Everything has it’s place. Because God made it that way. If we could but see with the Eyes of God, it would all make sense.
Let me know a little about your path to God.