I’ve just returned a few hours ago from having minor toe surgery (my right ingrown toe nail incised at the back – much easier than the last surgery – having the whole nail removed), so what follows might be a little delirious due to my exhaustion (before surgery I was working on the roof in the hot sun) and feeling a little out of it (I’ve had a couple of pain killers so the pain doesn’t prevent me from sleeping tonight). Anyway, here goes.
I always found the Men in Black films to be highly entertaining and insightful. There are several lines in all 3 movies (particularly number 1) that are very close to the truth of how things are – like someone in the know influenced the writers of the film. But one of my favourite things is how they play around with scale – like when the little furry guys are living in the railway station locker or the aliens are playing marbles with galaxies, at the end of the film.
Perhaps the hardest thing that I have had trouble with in relation to the entire ET subject is the sense of scale and the relationships of scale to dimensionality, perception, perspective and reality.
I posted these videos on scalarity and dimensionality 6 years ago (check out the baggy eyes after a long night with little sleep) and much of what I said still holds true but…
There are some things that I still find difficult to understand, let alone discuss with other people. These include how ETs rearrange the structure and size of space and how they change the way that the life force manifests and how they effect how others perceive reality.
One of the things that I discovered a long time ago was that if you change how your senses work, you change perception; if you change your conditioning, you change perception; if you change your food, energy, light and sound, you change perception; and that there are cycles throughout the day when perception and awareness change without any effort. In addition I discovered that if you change perspective – how you look at an object, the angle you look at an object and the distance away that you look at an object; your perception changes. I also became aware that there are internal perceptions (mental constructs like thinking, somatic and emotional feeling and visualisation) and external perceptions (biological constructs like what comes through the 5 senses or the neurological structures of the brain) and that all of these perceptions can be altered by internal and external factors. With these insights and realisations it became apparent to me that reality is a construct of experience and mind.
As I have grown older I have been confronted by more and more unusual experiences with ETs and other life forms that were difficult to understand. They could only be understood when I realised that reality is a construct of experience and mind. Sometimes however the understanding that I have is still inadequate to fully comprehend what is going on.
So let me give you some examples, which I will say more about in time, as I gain greater understanding of them.
Most of you have heard the infamous Doctor Who comment regarding the Tardis, that it’s bigger on the inside !
Well the same is true for many ET craft. However, this is not entirely true. In fact, to say that an ET craft is bigger on the inside, is way too much of a generalisation. It isn’t that black and white. In my experience there are several anomalous features here that need to be unpacked.
In regards to space :
- There are some ET craft that are exactly the same size inside as outside.
- There are some ET craft where there is a uniform spatial dilation inside (in other words it is uniformally bigger on the inside).
- There are some ET craft where certain regions of the craft are bigger on the inside.
- There are some ET craft where there the entire craft is bigger on the inside but some regions are significantly bigger on the inside (e.g. on a specific Teal’hia craft I was on, there was a region that contained rooms where there were spaces that were larger than several galaxies – Greg Bear’s book Eon touches on a similar theme https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eon_(novel)).
- There are some ET craft where at one time it is bigger on the inside and at other times the inside is proportionate to the outside.
While in regard to time :
- There are some ET craft in which the sense of time is identical on the inside.
- There are some ET craft where the sense of time on the inside matches specific races on board.
- There are some ET craft in which the sense of time is compressed or dilated.
- There are some ET craft in which the sense of time corresponds with the specific space (or space dilation).
Remember that there is only space and time is a product of the mind. When you alter space it is possible to alter time. But both space and time can also be altered by altering perception. This is one reason why many people have a hard time making sense of what they see and experience and remember on board an ET craft.
Another example that I’d like to talk about is interacting with small ETs. In terms of the concept of scalarity (see video above), there are ETs of many different sizes on many different relative scales. There are more than one group of very small ETs (under 12 inches). I mentioned previously about having encounters with the Chenntrame, who are between 3-6 inches in height and that Preston Dennett has interviewed people who have also had encounters with small beings. Preston says that these people claim to have been shrunk down to the same size as the ETs. That is not true. It doesn’t ever happen. So let me try to explain why, bearing in mind that this is not easy to convey.
I have seen these beings here on my farm near other much taller beings and they looked tiny. I have seen them on other ETs craft and they looked tiny. But I have also been on their craft and they looked my size. I once had a dream about seeing a ball of light that changed size (see Dream 5 here : https://etandi.wordpress.com/2014/07/02/et-and-ufo-dreams/). Through this dream I began to understand that the life force can manifest itself on whatever scale it wishes to and yet it is still fundamentally the same. Similarly when you interact with the Chenntrame or other small ETs, they alter your perception and hence alter your perception of reality such that you experience reality differently. I have also heard it said by ETs that different beings may see each other the size that they need to.
Some of you will realise that in making internal ET contact (which I’ve spoken about extensively here), the same thing happens. You meet each other in a shared world, taking on the form that you wish and that you perceive others how they wish you to perceive them. From an absolute perspective there really is no inner and outer – just one reality. So the same thing happens during external contact as internal contact. Others consciously effect your perception and their energy inadvertently effects your energy and your perception. Our perception is literally altered by contact with ‘the other’. And as a result what and how we experience reality are also altered.
I don’t know if that makes any sense at all ! It’s very difficult to put into words !
ETs don’t shrink us with some sort of shrinkydink gun or put us in some kind of mind altering Holodeck. They alter how we experience reality ! That is why so much ET contact feels dream like. It’s something that is largely foreign to our conscious way of experiencing reality.
The Chenntrame are very comfortable on their world. Plants and animals or their equivalent are in proportion to the Chenntrame in a similar way that they are for us. They are not tiny creatures on their own world. That is not to say that there are not space faring ETs who are not tiny on their own worlds. But somehow they consciously and/or inadvertently alter the perception and experience of other beings who come in contact with them (in certain circumstances) or who visit their world. I don’t have a better understanding of what takes place than this.
So let me leave you with a kind of koan, a kind of conundrum, that reflects what I have learned to be true.
Space can occupy any space that it wishes. The life force can occupy any space that it wishes and remain completely unchanged.
Here’s another set of hints regarding how to make ET contact. First go right, in order to go left. Keep going right as often as you need to and eventually you’ll go left !
So how the hell can you make contact with beings from far far away ? In no particular order :
- Show as much love as you can to your partner and your children. Do things for them without any expectation of anything in return.
- Value your friends.
- Show kindness to strangers because it matters.
- Take an avid interest in the world around you. The human world and the natural world.
- Get to know the natural world intimately. Take an interest in connecting with the plants, birds, mammals or insects in your neck of the woods. Get to know at least one alien on Earth. For me, it’s ants and birds. For you, it maybe something right in front of you that you’ve spent a lifetime ignoring or taking for granted.
- Moderate your fear, hostility and desire for control. Try to understand them.
- See your sense of separation and see how connected you are to every thing.
- Notice how much you react to things. Do you really have any free will ? Try to create a sense of space inside you as often as possible, so that your reactivity subsides. It ain’t easy to be free of reactivity but all of us can do better.
- Learn to love and enjoy novelty. It’s easy to become entrenched in old habits and a comfort zone. See what happens when you stay open to the new.
- Pay attention to what makes your heart feel good and what makes your heart feel bad. What kinds of sensations do you experience ?
- Pay attention to how your body reacts to different people, relationships and experiences. What sensations do you experience when something is good and something is bad ?
- Find joy in the simple things – like breathing, listening to bird song, enjoying the sun’s rays, listening to powerful music, spending time with people who matter, eating good food, walking, moving your body, touching and being touched.
- See if you can get through an entire day without judging others. Whether on television, online or in real life. And then see if you can work with that in ordinary life.
Each of these hints has some quality within them, which will change how you function and make you more appealing to ETs. No one like’s an arrogant SOB, an ego maniac or a perpetually wounded birdy. When you are like this, there is less reason to form a relationship with you. Separation breeds hostility ! But when you unction in a healthy way and feel your connection to all life, you literally radiate “Pick me, pick me !”, your whole being acts like a beacon and contact comes naturally as a consequence of who you are.
ET contact came naturally to me because I am naturally kind and caring. I have an interest in the world around me and the wider world – both the human and the natural world. I take responsibility for who I am and how I function. Even when I’m an arsehole ! I am able to understand many different perspectives, even though I may not agree with them. And I am open to novelty and my heart and my mind are open to new experiences. I do try hard to live without fear, expectation or a desire for control but these are ongoing challenges, as I think they are for all human beings. Who I am is who I am. The ETs recognise my weaknesses and I radiate out human frailty but in another way I radiate strength, love and integrity. When I approach ET contact I do so without any bullshit ! I need absolute honesty or they will see right through me and I will lose all possibility of connecting with them. So in a sense, deep and honest self reflection is absolutely critical. As I keep saying, know thyself ! Know thyself and you will know the cosmos ! It ain’t rocket science ! And you don’t need a set of special protocols ! Just you, as fully aware as you can be.
This is just a quick post on the subject of the human race becoming a space faring civilisation.
On numerous occasions I’ve spoken to Dude about the collective human future and once he gave me a timeline of how things will unfold. Dude has suggested that from everything that he can see from the majority of Conjoined Spaces, humanity will not become truly space faring (moving beyond the boundaries of our solar system) until the 36th century. That’s 1600 years from now. 1600 years ago Constantine the Great converted to Christianity, the Roman army were defeated by the Visgoths on numerous fronts, Augustine was busy writing his theology, the Chinese invented the Stirrup for horse riding, the Sinai Bible (Greek Bible) was written, the reigns of the Western Jin Dynasty were being held by An Di and later by Gong Di, the Gupta Empire of India was under the control of Chandragupta II Vikramaditya and the Noba people settled SE Nubia. Unless you have an avid interest in history, those facts may seem pretty obscure to you ! And similarly, unless you have an avid interest in the future, what lay ahead will seem equally obscure. I don’t think any of us can begin to speculate on how the collective human future will look between now and then. We might have some degree of accuracy for the first 50 or so years but after that I think things will become unrecognisable.
So why won’t we become space faring for another 1600 years ? Well, you might remember me saying how the Creator Races (like the Teal’hia, Muajra and Sar’Won’Dee) do not allow any race to become space faring until they’ve grown up and learned to show respect to each other, other species and their own planet. And that these boundaries differ from race to race. Some races are entirely planet bound because of their hostility. Others are allowed out in the backyard so to speak and allowed to roam their local neighbourhood, while others are allowed further afield to explore their own solar system. Any exploration is closely monitored and all efforts to effect the well being of another planet or other life forms are managed. In our own case, we have this illusion – an illusion maintained by certain members of the lower arms of The Architecture, groups such as NASA, ESA, the US military, Elon Musk and other private aerospace groups; that we can just waltz out into space and do whatever we want. Whether it’s mining on the Moon or on asteroids, colonising the Moon, Mars or Titan etc. Such people think that it is our human right to go out into space and conquer and claim. What they lack in their myopia is a cosmic perspective. This desire and effort towards expansion, is a widespread and ancient thing and because of this the Creator Races have enormous experience in managing the behaviour of juvenile races, such as our own. You are not allowed to go out into space with hostility, greed and a lack of respect. There are ancient protocols in place to protect other planets, other life forms and the emerging life form itself. And because of this, we will be thwarted whenever we do something that breaches what is permissible and we will be encouraged in a healthier direction whenever that is possible.
So what will this look like in practical terms ? Sometimes will will be frightened off, via face to face experiences, demonstrations of power, via dreams, via thoughts, feelings and projected voices. Sometimes their will be accidents and our craft will be maimed, disarmed or destroyed. Sometimes there will be accidents and efforts at settlement will be undermined. Sometimes we will simply be monitored for the duration of a mission – from it’s conception to it’s completion. Nothing can be hidden from the Creator Races. Not a single thought, feeling, desire, plan or action. They already know everything we plan on doing. And because of this they have overarching plans (though I hesitate to use that word) that will ensure that all of our space related activities are controlled and managed, such that we move slowly and begin to realise that there is only so much that we are allowed to do, unless we grow up and take responsibility for how we are. That is the way that it has always been and that is the way that it will always be. No amount of covert planning otherwise by any group or individual will change how things will unfold.
The biggest obstacles to the human race becoming space faring are our immaturity and our instability. It’s obvious that we need to grow up and treat everything else with respect. What maybe less obvious is how unstable our minds are. Dude has informed me that the reason that many of our efforts to stay in orbit around moons, planetoids and planets and most of our efforts to reside on the surface of moons and planets (our Moon and Mars in particular) will fail, is because humans will not cope with isolation away from Earth. Some of these future colonising efforts will last a few years and then self destruct because people can’t cope. No matter how much aptitude and desire they have, no matter how much training and preparation they have; they will not be able to cope with living far from home. This kind of isolation from all that they are familiar with and all that they love, will cause chaos and further instability in the human mind. Dude has even described one early off world effort in which one person breaks down, someone is murdered and the whole group turns on one another. And while this maybe a rare thing, all groups that attempt to live off world, will be faced with the same potential difficulties because the human mind is inherently weak and unstable.
In the end then it will be the ETs who control when we become space faring and it will up to us to decide when to grow up and how to cope with isolation and being far from home. 1600 years is a bloody long time to wait but it’s nothing compared to what we could wait ! Imagine how we could change in 1600 years ! I personally find it hard to imagine that we will be ready to become space faring in 1600 years. I mean nothing about our essential nature has changed in the last 1600 years, so I see no reason why the next 1600 years will be any different ! And going from what Rachel has told me about the work she did profiling the next 9,000 years of our future, we’re still essentially the same in the way that we function. So I can’t really get my head around it. But I trust Dude and if he says we will become space faring in 1600 years, then it must be true ! Alas, fortunate am I, that I will be long gone ! and so will all of you ! This then is a legacy for all of our descendents. One can only imagine what adventures lay in wait for them !
One day we will be the ETs visiting a primitive race on some far away planet !
I don’t know if I have said anything about what Dude and Anamika have told me about the oldest ETs in this universe, so here is a brief post on that subject.
Now the numbers I am going to give you are completely at odds with everything that is widely accepted by our scientists about the age of the universe. And I’ll be talking about this universe and not the wider cosmos but please don’t see this just as our universe as we understand it. An ET definition of our universe is very different to our own and I won’t be providing you with that for now but perhaps I can do that at a later stage.
I’d like to start by giving you some basic numbers. I often talk about 4 races in particular and they are probably the ones that I am closest to. The Teal’hia, Sar’Won’Dee, Muajra and Sarpalxn. These are their approximate ages according to Dude :
- Sarpalxn : 3.610 Billion years old
- Sar’Won’Dee 12.350 Billion years old
- Muajra : 14.548 Billion years old
- Teal’hia : 15.451 Billion years old.
So of the ETs that I have regular contact with, the Teal’hia are the oldest.
I have been told by Dude and Anamika, that there are races who predate this universe and some of them are several trillions of years old.
I’d have to dig in my notes to find the exact figures Dude gave me but he once told me that there were something like 13-14 % of ET races who were older than his own race. Many of them are much older. He recently told me about one race that is approximately 27.5 billion years old and another that is approximately 40 billion years old. Now even though there are races who are trillions of years old, those two that he mentioned are considered very old. You have to remember that there are billions of space faring ET races, if not more. It might only be a handful that are trillions of years old.
Dude has given me the impression that there are few if any of these 20 plus billion year old races visiting, residing (or originating from our galaxy) because for the most part they are in a more restful phase of existence. So let me say something about that.
Apparently the really old races are very simple in form and function and are protected by younger races. To give you two examples. The two races that I just mentioned that are 27.5 and 40 billion years old, now reside in distant and quiet regions of this universe and are relatively planet bound. They are capable of being space faring but they choose to lead relatively dormant lives. They do not need space craft to travel but if they need to travel, they only travel as far as neighbouring planets to visit their own kind. They have no desire or interest to travel interstellar, intragalactic or intergalactic distances. During it’s development, the younger race chose to explore every possible way of functioning from simple space travel to becoming a Creator Race and creating universes, galaxies, solar systems, planets, life and souls etc.. They took this as far as they could go before going beyond this. What that means I have no idea. And then they stepped away from those abilities and activities. Whereas during its development, the older race went as far as becoming a Creator Race and no further. Before they too stepped away from these abilities and activities. Dude explained to me that there were significant spiritual differences between these two races and that in their retirement (so to speak), the elder race chose to accept whatever fate lay in wait for them. They resided on a planet where there were beings who may have been dangerous to them and where there were celestial events that could have been threatening. They did not wish to be protected. And yet younger Creator Races chose to protect them. When I asked Dude about this he explained that there has been significant disagreement about this kind of intervention but that this is what has always been done. The elder races are always protected from harm, whether they want protection or not. Now the younger race were different in that they accepted protection. They didn’t ask for it but they readily accepted it. The difference in attitude seems to relate to differences in spiritual beliefs.
There is a race that appears to be a shape shifting race that can travel anywhere in the cosmos by simply folding in on itself (at least that’s what it looks like). This race resides on Earth as a simple gastropod and from what I have been told, appears to have a relatively peaceful existence. It also interacts with people in certain covert projects. Why ? I am not sure. It cannot be controlled and means us no harm. I do not know if it is an elder race or simply a shape shifter who prefers simple forms. I suspect the later but I am not absolutely certain.
Sometimes when I talk to my ET friends it is very confronting. As many of you know, Dude is over 8,000 years old and that seems so damned ancient to me. And yet the ET/human ET I refer to as Number 1 is significantly older, Anamika is much older as well and Dude has told me about some of his people who are way older than he is. There are beings I’ve been told about who are half a million years old. So whenever you hear the term Ancient Aliens, you can be pretty sure, that it probably only means Young Aliens.
I’ve never actually asked how old the oldest individual beings in this universe are. I might be in for a big shock when I ask that question ! But it is on my list of questions for Dude.
Sometimes I think to myself, if my friend Dude can know as much as he does and he’s a spring chicken compared to many of the older ETs, imagine what they must know about anything and everything ! It’s absolutely daunting to imagine how much they know compared to us and I guess in a way it’s like comparing what we know to a mosquito that lives 3-5 days. By human standards, an 80 year old person lives 5,840-9,733 times as long as a mosquito. And by way of comparison those half a million year old ETs live approximately 6,250 times longer than us.
So whenever you hear someone who claims to have figured everything out boasting about what they’ve figured out and that they know the answer to everything, think about how little they must know compared to a being who makes their life seem like that of a mosquito !
Picture the following as a cartoon.
Somewhere in Earth orbit on board the GREY STAR 69, 12 ETs from 4 different races are sitting at a bar :
Joe : Hey Lemmy wadda ya think of dem Erflings ?
Lemmy : Widge ones ?
Joe : The Soft Skins. You know the one’s who call em selves Who Mans !
Lemmy : Well daze a bit funny really ! Always pokin funs at us becauze we don look like theyz look.
Joe : Yeah daz true. Only last week Phil was tellings us that they keep callinz hiz people tha Greys because theyz skins look grey in the moonlight.
Phil : Yeah dem bimble bots. Theze got it in theyz puny heads that we got grey skin, so we called Greys. We keeps tellin dem, ‘No we not Greys. We got names too ! Me I’m a Winky, Ralph here, he’s a Pooky, Lemmy over there he’s a Dingle and Oozo over there, he’s a Chittychatter. You godda understand, we not called Greys. We haz names too, just like you called Who Mans ! And each Who Man race has it’s own name too ! We tha samez’. But they no listen. Stupid Who Mans !
Larry : Yoos reckonz yoos got it bad, what about us. We beenz gettins called Reptilians because we have skin that look a little like daze reptile scales on za Earth reptiles. Evy time I goes down dere to visit dem, I keep saying weeze not Reptilians. Onleeeze last weeksy I say to lady, ‘Hewo we cumz in peace, not to take you to pieces. We is the Wa Was, not Reptilians. You gotta remember that. We not like da snake or da lizard, we like us. Next time you make da mistake and insult us, we gunaz eat you ! Just kidding !’ And when Iz say dat, she poopy her self !
Joe : Like I saz, dose Erflings, dose Who Mans, so stupidy ! Maybe id time we started probin theyz anuses and looking for signs of intelligence !
Lemmy : Wadda youz epect guys, theyz ruled by fluffy fuck asses theyz call cats.
Larry : Yez no point in probin theyz anuses when da real intelligence in theyz cats !
Rosy : Hey boyz, maybe we shouldz probes the anuses of cats and then put loud speakers in cat bums to play tricks on dem Who Mans !
Joe : Yez yes I likey Rosy ! We couldz play tricks on dem. Cat bum say, ‘Dis is da Greys, we cumin for you. Cumin to eat youz for breakfast. Cumin to eat youz for tea. Da invasion is here.’ And theyz runz around like idjiots lookinz for where da invasion cumin from and da cats chasin theyz anuses in za circles. So funny !
Phil : And we could make cat bum say, ‘Dis is da Reptilians, we goinz to eat your babies and comez and take over yourz leaders and pretend to be kings and queens and make youz ourz slaves. We are bigz and scaries and we eat Who Mans !’ I so wants to do its !
Joe : Then weeze agree. We become da Greys and da Reptilians and weeze form the Grey-Reptilian Allianz and weeze tell them we arez part of da Draconite Federationz.
Larry : Ohh Ohh me got it. We canz also be da Nordics and make da Galacticz Federationz of Light and we be at da war wid each other. Draconite Federationz vs da Galacticz Federationz of Light. Den we make da Who Mans choose sides.
Rosy : Larry youze mean like sums of us can be da Alliez of Who Manity and sums of us can be da Bad Guyz ?
Larry : Yes, yes. Youze spot on Rosy !
Lemmy : Bar Tender, do youze have some straws for pussytail drinkz ?
Bar Tender : Yes I do Lemmy. What ya wand dem for ?
Lemmy : So weeze can play shortast strawz. I choose to be da Alliez of Who Manity, parts of da Galactic Federationz of Light. Who wid me ? Bar Tender you cut da strawz for us. Shortast straws get to be da Draconite Federationz.
Joe : Donz forget, we needz to do probe da cat anuses for specialz soundz effects !
Rosy : Youz couldz alzo probe theyz poopinators, where theyz sit for doinz poops. Scarez the poops out of them with talkz of invasions. Be da funniest showz on da Earth !
Lemmy : Ha ha Rosy, youze so funny ! Probes theyze poopinators !
I remember sitting with my sister in her backyard one morning in August 2016 and we were talking about her brain tumours and how she was feeling. “I’m terrified of dying and being stuck in a box”, she said. A few months later she took her husband to visit one of her former advertising clients – the local funeral home and she purchased her coffin. That’s how Susy was. She was practical and tried to face her fears, even up to the end.
Susy did very poorly in science and maths at school and struggled to get into university, where she went on to study primary teaching. Even though she loved children, she never ended up becoming a primary teacher. Instead she worked her way from administration in hotels, to car sales to advertising to administration assistant in a hospital consulting room in a private hospital, 70 m from where she eventually died. Susy’s first husband was addicted to KFC and suffered from some kind of eating disorder but I liked him. Her second husband and the man who was to father her two children is a working man with a big heart. I sometimes think of him and dream about him, stuck in that big house looking after two kids who miss their mum. My father hates him, as he hated her first husband. No one was ever good enough for his little girl. But Susy’s husbands did more for her in life, than our father ever did. And my father’s lack of action and genuine care was a source of suffering for Susy, throughout the last decade of her life.
On the outside Susy had everything. A big house, a big car, a husband with a well paid job and 2 beautiful children. But inside I think Susy struggled to fill her life with meaning. When her dog Jessie dissapeared a year before she was diagnosed with Glioblastoma, Susy’s world fell apart. A few days after I spoke to her about the dog’s dissaperance I went looking for Jessie remotely and found her dead in bushland a few kilometers away. She’d been hit by a car and stumbled off in the bush where she later died. I never had the heart to tell Susy what I had discovered. And for 6 months she went looking for her, scanning the missing dogs lists near and far and driving up to an hour away scanning the suburbs. I don’t know what it was about Jessie that meant so much to her. She was there before the children were born and I guess Susy figured she’d be there as they grew up. I knew at the time that Jessie was the last straw in what must have felt for Susy like an endless string of losses, which began when our mother walked out on us when she was 9. The losses continued when we were stuck in boarding school a year later, when her car was stolen when she was 19, with the loss of her potential future as a primary teacher, with the betrayal of her love when her first husband had 2 affairs and then walked out on her, with the loss of our fathers attention, with the loss of her uterus and gall bladder, with the loss of her dog Jessie and finally with the loss of security when she was diagnosed with advanced Glioblastoma. Although I felt my own losses were far more significant in number and intensity than Susy’s ever were, I knew that every person’s misery is relative. I can take a lot more than most people. I’ve always been resilient in way that many people are not. And even though Susy was also resilient, there was something inside of her that was crying out desperately for the losses to stop ! When I asked her that morning in August if she was happy with her life, she sat her self up straight and promptly replied, “Yes I’m very happy with my life !”. But somehow that didn’t feel true. She was my sister and I’d grown accustomed to her light speed masks. Instead I sensed that deep down inside, there was a growing hole of emptiness, yearning to be filled. I could tell that Susy needed to be noticed. To be seen by her hyperactive children and respected, to have her needs acknowledged by her workaholic husband, to be cared for and loved by our workaholic father, to be cared for and loved by our needy and overly dependent mother, to be valued by her work colleagues, to be acknowledged and loved unconditionally by our self righteous paternal grand mother, to be noticed by the world at large for who she is.
All her life Susy was thin, just like I am. And all though her life people made harsh comments about her body size. The same thing has happened to me but these days I tell people to “fuck off” and I give the same in return. I remember talking to Susy about one episode over the phone, just before Jessie dissapeared. She was in a clothing boutique and a plump middle aged woman made a comment in front of some other women to the effect that “Do you have some kind of problem eating ? You need to eat up dear, you look like a rake !”. Susy was livid ! She threw the clothes she had been trying on down on the floor, told the woman to go fuck her self and stormed out ! It was probably the 500th time someone had commented on her weight. She walked to her car and broke down in a sea of tears ! And then it bothered her for months afterwards. I suspect she even had nightmares about the event. It may have seemed trivial but it was the last straw ! Words cut to the heart ! The children’s rhyme is wrong. “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me !”. What utter crap ! We humans can handle broken bones but names destroy us ! Susy had a thick skin but I think she grew tired of wearing armour ! For once she just wanted people to see past her exterior and see what was inside !
All her life Susy’s spirit screamed to be noticed ! She wanted nothing more than to be acknowledge for who she is ! And in doing so, the world would give her an opportunity to blossom and to thrive ! But Susy was never truly acknowledged by any of the people that mattered. And even though I’m sure she would say I’m being too harsh, there were many people who were bastards towards her ! Encounter after encounter ! The worst of whom were family !
Towards the end of her life Susy was no longer the Susy we knew. I had a terrible argument with her the last night I was with her during my stay in August 2016 and I put that down to her tumours affecting her ability to self regulate her anger and my own tumours doing the same thing. Her poor kids were stuck in the middle of it as we argued in the car, over my choice to boycott going to a dinner being prepared by our bigoted grand mother. The next morning was the last I would see anything of the sister I once knew. In the months that followed, she slowly deteriorated. One day her husband came home and found her slumped on the floor in the shower with no memory of how she got there. Later she would begin reminisce about things that were completely out of context. She would have accidents where she would overfill her tea cup and not know when to stop. She would urinate on her self during dinner and be unaware until someone noticed the smell. She would forget how to do the most ordinary things. Eventually she got to the point where it was impossible to leave her alone without 24 hour supervision. And even though Susy’s awareness had changed, that must have been hard for her. She had been the kind of person who had been fiercely independent all her life !
I had come back from my trip in August, a little angry with my sister. Angry about what I’m still not sure. But I think I was angry about how she had been, angry at losing her, angry at my father and my grand mother for ignoring her needs, angry with her kids and her husband for not doing more to care. I was angry about something. And then towards the end of the year I was very busy with my own life and I didn’t speak with her for 2 months. But my business was an excuse. I don’t know if it was because I feared how she would be or because I was avoiding something. When I did finally speak with her in January 2017, I was shocked to learn that her tumours had doubled in size and that things were heading in the direction I’d been shown 3 times in my life by my ET friends. I never wanted any of that to come to fruition ! When I spoke to Susy, she was child like and her anger was gone. She was full of simple curiosity and marvel at the things that she could remember. I made a conscious effort to bring up memories from our shared past that I knew would make her feel good. And even though they did, I was struggling to find enough memories to connect us. It was almost impossible to talk with her about the present. All we had was the past. And in a way I found that heart breaking ! My sister who had always been a fountain of trivial details about what was happening in her own life and the lives of the people she loved, was bereft of almost anything that was part of her usual life. It was perfectly clear, that part of her had already died.
After I heard from Susy’s husband that Susy had been moved into palliative care, I asked Dude again if he would connect with her before she died and then after she died. He said that he would and I left it at that. I returned to visit Susy one last time in February 2017, during the period that I have come to think of as the darkest period of my life. There were other dark events happening that to this day I still don’t fully understand. Some have to do with Conjoined Space, others have to do with intervention by external agencies and others are a little more enigmatic. I did the best that I could to be there for Susy, even though this other set of events plagued me night and day. I am usually someone who can be fully present to the moment. But for 4 days as I sat by Susy’s side and spent time with her family, other things were tearing away at my heart and my mind. I felt terrible then and afterwards, that I was so unable to give myself entirely to Susy.
While I sat with Susy, I thought of her comments about being stuck in a box and I thought she would be OK, given that she had since decided to be cremated and her time in a box would be brief. For four days I watched her awareness deteriorate. I saw moments when I knew that she was aware of us and moments when it was like she had already gone Home. I looked at her body and thought how strange it was that my beloved sister who had always been thin was going to die a good weight, thanks to the anti tumour drugs she had been taking for the last year. He hair had changed from blonde to brunette and she looked very much like a younger version of our mother. Unfortunately I was not able to stay with Susy until the end. I had to return home because I’d been told I would start my own treatment in a few days and because these other events were getting the better of me. On the last night I ever spent with Susy, there was a huge tropical storm. At one point when Susy was sleeping I went outside for 30 minutes. I sat watching the storm near front of the hospital, letting the rain lash my body, enjoying the energy of the wind, the rain and the lightning. I thought about all the tropical storms we had witnessed together as children living in Hong Kong with our father. I thought about things we had said to one another. I thought about her beautiful children and how these were the last days that they would have with their mother. I thought about all the other people who were dying in the palliative care unit and those who were dying tonight. I thought about the wild old lady who was walking up and down the corridors waiting for someone to take her home. And I thought about what Susy might be experiencing now.
As we sat in the backyard that morning in August the year before, I asked Susy what she believed and it was clear that she didn’t really know. She didn’t know if she believed in God and she was angry with it as hell if it did exist ! She was angry that she was probably going to die ! She didn’t know if she believed if there was a life after death ! She believed in love but she didn’t know who would care if she died. And so for the 3rd time since it had happened, I told her about my experience of being taken by the Sar’Won’Dee and the Teal’hia to merge with The Light. and I reminded her (as I had my friend Tom who had died a few years earlier), that everything will be OK. We all go HOME. And that death will not hurt. There will be people there who love her and care about her. And then she will know that she is loved. Loved by them, loved by others, loved by God. She liked hearing that. But she was still angry with this whole God thing. Which I suspect was a byproduct of our hypocritical Catholic upbringing ! She was stuck like many people, on the great mystery of suffering. Having already worked my way through that beast of confusion, I did my best to help her to see the good in what was happening and to be optimistic about her future. Even though secretly, I knew what was to come.
The day after Susy died, I asked Dude if he had had the opportunity to connect with her and he told me that he had. One morning at about 3 am, he took her away from her body into a space that he had created for her. He explained to her what was happening and who he was and that he was my friend. According to Dude, that made her very happy and it brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it. Just knowing that he was there for her. Dude spent quite a while with Susy. He told her that she was dying and what would soon happen. He told her about all the people who had come to say farewell and that her big brother had been there for her but had had to go away early. And later, after she died, he visited her on several occasions. Several times when I asked him how she was going, he gave me an update and it pleased me to know that she was OK. It took me a long time to consciously connect with her. I don’t really know why I didn’t do it sooner. I guess I felt Susy was OK without my help. In a few days I plan on talking to her again. Perhaps now it is time to begin talking to her every few weeks, as we did when she was alive. With the Internal Worlds approach we can meet just like old times and I can see and know for myself what life is like for her now.
I have an internal world for meeting people who have died. But I need to make a special place in it for Susy. One that will make her feel right at home. A place that is covered in flowers and butterflies and small birds, where small dogs are also welcome and somewhere in the background The Eagles are playing Hotel California. Susy and I have been connected across many life times. I don’t know whether this marks the end or the continuation of our connection to one another. The only thing that is certain, is that Susy has gone ahead before me. And perhaps now, my little sister will be the one who teaches me about what is to come !
Hey folks, I haven’t done a fundraiser in quite a while. As many of you know I write this blog and make the TSMS because I care. There is no real profit in what I’m doing, although I do get donations every now and then – usually one a month from my most loyal supporters ! And for that I am very much appreciative ! But as many of you also know, I’m in my 11th year of healing through renal carcinoid tumours and struggling right now with significant side effects from the treatment medication. This year my son has in part put off going to university (to study a Bachelor of IT), so that he can take care of me. From my perspective I’m OK but he worries a lot about me because he’s seen me crash and he sees me dealing with the daily side effects of both the tumours and the medication. My son is receiving a carers payment to help look after me and I’m trying to urge him to save most of that so that he can afford to go to university. Already (much to my surprise !), he’s put his hand up and paid for a number of bills. I don’t mind him doing that but he’ll never be able to afford to go to university if he keeps doing that !
It’s now been 6 years since I left work to heal and it hasn’t been easy financially. I miss having a good salary ! But I needed to make that choice, otherwise I would have died ! So I don’t regret it for one second ! I am slowly working towards offering some courses on Udemy (or something like it) on a range of subjects including Dream Analysis and Explorations, Family Systems, Self Awareness and a bunch of other stuff. And I’m still planning on making the How to Make ET Contact audio material. But that’s all in the pipeline and dependent on my health improving ! Some days I feel great and like I can knock it all over in a week and other days I feel shit house like I’m at death’s door ! I’m optimistic that I’ll be reasonably tumour free in a few years but I know that anything can happen !
Right now I plan on staying on my Lanreotide injections for another 6 months – if I can last that long with the side effects. But I’m exploring the possibility of connecting with an Oncology Biotech group I first contacted in Sydney (New South Wales) a decade ago and I’m also planning on making a trip to Adelaide (South Australia) to explore an equally novel treatment – where I’d be a guinea pig. I’m not sure if either are worth pursuing. I still have this stubborn notion of avoiding all western and alternative treatments and making the changes in my psychological and emotional functioning that I know heal. Have already healed some of my tumours ! But I’m a realist and I know I need to have options up my sleeve, in case my tumours get bad tempered with me ! I’d also like to take a real holiday with my son to the Flinders Ranges in South Australia because we’ve been stuck here unable to go anywhere for far too long !
My intention has always been to become self sufficient again one day. To work for myself entirely – through running courses and writing books. And even though I’ve spent much of the last 6 years focused on writing my books, I’ve yet to make writing pay – except through your help here.
In order for me to continue ET and I and The Something Monologues I need to be able to survive financially. This year I’m looking to raise $5,000 so that I can pay my bills and explore other treatment options. I always feel that it sucks asking for money ! But I do try very hard to give what I can. Admittedly I don’t write as much as I used to but I still feel the need to do what I can. As I have said before, anyone who donates $50 or more will have full access to the contact audio and e-versions of my books.
If you appreciate my work, please consider making a donation. You can do so by going to the “Consider making a donation” tab on the top right hand side of this page. Any support you can offer will be much appreciated !
I want to say something about why I believe that ET and ET contact matters. I think all human beings will recognise that mankind and Earth are in trouble. Why are we in trouble ? Because man does not know his own mind ? Socrates suggestion to KNOW THYSELF, has fallen on deaf ears. And because of this we have fallen into a miasma of uncertainty, from which we may never find our way out. But no one can save us but we ourselves.
There are non space faring ETs and space faring ETs. And as I’ve said before the Creator Races and others beyond them ensure that you don’t become genuinely space faring, until you’ve grown up and sorted out your shit ! Man kind is a long way from reaching this point in our development. But it is in our future. And then when that time comes, we will be seen by many others as ETs and they will look to us for guidance.
ETs matter because there is so much diversity and so much for us to experience and to learn. From those who are unable to move off planet, those who can only travel a small way through space and those who are truly space faring. All life matters because it exists ! We matter and ETs matter because they exist. ET contact matters because it gives and will give us the opportunity to have experiences with other people and other places and because there is so much for us to learn about everything. My friend Frédéric recently asked some very interesting questions about how a certain race of ETs do their work. How do they know who’s in charge, what needs to be done and how to do it ? And I asked a similar question of the Tearhom last December. The space faring ETs have figured out stuff that is still foreign to our way of functioning. And most importantly, they’ve figured out how to tolerate and accept each other and avoid hurting others unnecessarily. But these are just a handful of the endless possibilities of what we might learn from the ETs. Me, personally, I’m interested in lots of things and the 10 ETs I am closest to, are teaching me about a range of things. But first and foremost, about the nature of reality and how to deepen the well of experience.
There is however one reason above all others why ETs and ET contact matter. We humans are slow learners ! And as we’ve demonstrated before, we will destroy each other before we wake up and we have short memories. We need someone to be there for us, who won’t walk away just because we fuck up !
You and I won’t live to see peace on Earth and neither will the next 100 generations of the human race. But Some ETs will. Some have been with us since the beginning (having created this world) and will be with us, until we become space faring and join the great collectives that fill the cosmos. My friend Dude is 8,600 plus years old (by human standards) and he has been on Earth since 1253 BC, working slowly to support the development of the human species and to protect Earth. His people first came her over 3 billion years ago and maintain a small presence here because they care for our wellbeing and the wellbeing of all life on Earth. He and they know that millions of us will die because of our ceaseless judgement of us and them and our desire for conflict. In addition, they know that the diversity of all life on our planet will be all but wiped out by humanity and human over population. But they will still be here long after we are gone and all memory of you and I is long since extinguished because they’re here for the long run ! And not just the Muajra but many of the space faring ET races !
We have this idea that every person has fundamental human needs that should be addressed so that we can develop fully. ETs believe that too and they’re leaving it up to us to figure that out and how to make it happen. But they also believe in higher order needs and that every person has a right to address higher order needs, such as love, curiosity, desire, perception and feeling. And we’re not very good at addressing those needs. Humans in the distant future will have licked up the lower levels of Maslow’s pyramid like it was a delicious cake and live to focus on the glory of enjoying real development. The ETs who are visiting Earth now, are offering us a way to move past us and them, to address our fundamental needs and see the potential to realise our higher order needs – whatever they maybe ! But it’s up to us to stop getting caught up in the bullshit and to see them as they really are. And what is it that we’ll see when we look clearly, free of all baggage ? Infinite diversity ! Different body shapes, different elemental life forms, different perceptions, different ways of functioning, different senses, different intelligence’s, different beliefs, different ideas and conceptions, different choices, different kinds of consciousness, different technologies, different developmental life paths for individuals and races and my favourite thing of all – endless stories about the things they’ve seen and experienced, places they’ve been, creatures and people that they’ve met and developed relationships with.
And what do we have to gain by developing relationships with them ? Everything ! Absolutely everything ! I believe that we owe it to our descendants to appreciate the kinds of relationships that we can have with ETs. After all, everything that they will become, will arise from the foundations of what we leave behind. Why not expand our relationships and grow, so that we can leave them with something more substantial than history left us ?
ETs won’t save us from ourselves. Only we can do that. But ETs do offer us a unique opportunity to see what’s possible. And I’m not talking about space craft, amazing weapons and biotechnology. I’m talking about what’s possible in relation to who we can become.
Dude often reminds me that his race was once very barbaric and people cared only for themselves. Now they care for a seemingly endless number of beings. They create universes, souls, galaxies, planets and life forms. If another race can make that kind of transformation over many billions of years, maybe we can too !
Sometimes the balance between looking backwards and looking forwards is a difficult one to find. I am grateful that many of the ETs know all of our history and much of what takes place in our hearts and minds. Even if we forget where we came from, they will remember.
Our ET friend Dude once told Rachel in all serious, that the answer to everything is 2. Not 42 (sorry Douglas Adams !) but 2. I think I know what he was getting at but I’m not absolutely certain. Sometimes Dude is very enigmatic and you think he’s getting at one thing but he’s actually getting at another.
What does this answer mean to you ?