Epictetus and the Art of Self Help

I’ve been a fan of many of the Stoics for a long time and one of the most well known is Epictetus – who had a great deal of wisdom on the art of self help.

Any one with an interest in choice (you may of heard of William Glassner’s Choice Theory) will see good logic in Epictetus’s reasoning.

I myself frequently have to remind myself about choice and what I do and do not control. My son has found ways to test my remembrance of what I can and can’t control on a daily basis ! And my recent tumour assessment has been a reminder to let go more often of expecting my son to behave otherwise ! For ultimately, he makes all his own choices – whether I like them or not !



It’s the ET Game Show !

What would you ask an ET if you could ? Any number of questions for any number of ET races or individuals !

I’ll tell you why I asked this question shortly ! Feel free to let it rip !

😉 Brighty.


Dream on With the Power of Imagination

Hypnosis may appear to be something that hypnotists do on stage but it’s happening all the time, whenever you engage with human forces that wish to influence you. Perhaps a better use for hypnosis, is to train our own minds to dream on with the power of imagination and use it to enhance our lives, rather than allowing others to enslave us !


Someone’s Coming : The Paparazi Circus and ET Contact Stigma !

Grant Cameron has suggested that a well known American is possibly on the cusp of revealing his contact with ETs. How lovely it will be to see another story that pushes the whole Tom Delonge parade out of the limelight and perhaps takes the subject to a more serious level. Of course the critical ingredient will be – what kind of flavour will his story have ? Reasonable ETs or hostile ETs ? I’m optimistic that it will be the former !


The Most Important Surveillance Story (Hymn of Hate)

One of the hardest things for me to talk about openly here is what I have learned about global surveillance because of the surveillance that I myself have to endure. Sometimes I start writing a post and scrap it because it isn’t worth the possibility that it might arouse unnecessary interest. I can live with the interest but sometimes it’s irritating. To some degree I modify my behaviour. But not so much as inhibit my life. For the most part I use the surveillance as a means to trace and observe my observers – online and psychically.

Most people use the old “well I’ve got nothing to hide” argument, which is just plain stupid and ignorant. Everyone has something to hide ! Everyone values a certain level of privacy ! And those that don’t feel this is true, have no idea how extensive surveillance is and has been for years.

Ed Snowden has called the following story the most important surveillance story in years : https://theintercept.com/2018/06/25/att-internet-nsa-spy-hubs/ and I encourage you to read it. And for those of you who want to know more about Ed Snowden’s revelations on surveillance, I encourage you to read Glen Greenwald’s “No Place to Hide” : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Place_to_Hide_(Greenwald_book) / https://www.amazon.com/No-Place-Hide-Snowden-Surveillance/dp/1250062586. It’s a good introduction to the world of surveillance. If you’ve seen the Snowden the movie or the documentary on his revelations or followed his story, Glen’s book will fill in the details.

For those of you who want to know how to deal with surveillance. I think there are two sensible approaches. First, use vigilance and discernment whenever possible. And second, get one with the life that you want to live. The whole point of surveillance is to monitor people, collate data that is relevant them and to influence their behaviour. When most people realise that they are being watched, they modify their behaviour and that’s exactly what the groups involved in surveillance and their puppet masters want. Social compliance on a mass scale. Work on individuals and work on networks. So fuck em ! Live your way and don’t let fear be an excuse !

At the social level there is a great deal that we can do to modify the behaviour of those involved in surveillance, attacking the problem on multiple different scales. If only people cared enough to overcome their own ignorance and apathy ! An ignorance and apathy that is well known and understood by those in power ! Perhaps these larger scale approaches are a subject I’ll write about in greater detail in another post.

Until then I urge you to remember that all online and phone data is being collected, not just metadata. And it’s information that can be manipulated and used against people at any time now or in the future. Be mindful of how you connect to the wider world and remember that your phones are tools, not a way of life ! Don’t allow them to open a door for others to peer into your life. Make it difficult for the rising Panopticon (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panopticon) to ensnare and consume you ! And remember above everything else, that in every situation you are always fundamentally free !

More reading and links here :


An ETs View on Panspermia (Bioshifting)

Dude and I have spoken extensively about planet forming and the extraterrestrial creation of life. The following is an extract from Dude’s answer to question 18 in the interview book. A more elaborate answer (more detail on what is outlined in how panspermia works 1-7 below) will be in the conversation book. While I have corrected obvious typos I haven’t fully proof read this extract. Any errors are mine alone. See what you make of it !

Brighty. 😉

PS. Dude refers to the process he describes not as Panspermia but as Bioshifting – which was a word he felt was easier for us to understand.


Bright : Dude it’s been a while since we spoke and before we get back to the original questions, I’d like to ask you if you could please clarify where these microbial communities in space originate from ? Is it from previous planets that have existed ? Have they been engineered ? Are certain regions of space seeded with microbes ? Are there seed banks as such ? Is it a combination of possibilities or is there another explanation ? Many people would see what we’ve been talking about as a kind of panspermia but I’m wondering if there is a bigger picture here. Perhaps you could elaborate on that ?

Dude : OK a good question. Now when you think about these things – what your people have identified as panspermia, what do you think of – in terms of how it works ?

B : I guess I think of clouds of microbes in space and microbes on asteroids and other celestial bodies / planetoids etc. and I think of some ET races deliberately targeting regions of space and particular planets with microbial communities. Implanting life so to speak. That’s what I think of.

B : D : OK, so what you’ve said is reasonable. It’s a little bit like how it works. How about I give you a more detailed explanation and then you’ll understand where these microbial communities originate from.

OK. Go for it !

D : Alright. Now when you think of microbes you have a fairly limited view of what microbes are. You yourself personally know about bacteria and viruses and other small life forms such as protozoans and amoebas. You’ll remember from your studies of bacteriology that there are several major divisions and some of these are more modern and some of them are considered to be ancient. You have some idea – you personally and your people, of how diverse microbes are – particularly bacteria and viruses. But you don’t have much of an understanding or appreciation of this diversity. You have a set way of looking at bacteria and other microbes. You look at basic phenotype characteristics and try and match them against their genetics and sometimes (as you found) they turn out to be similar and sometimes they don’t. So as you yourself concluded, there is both a kind of divergent and a kind of convergent evolution among bacteria. The same features are prevalent across the entire spectrum of life – both here and throughout the cosmos. So this feature of how things diversify and how they can become similar in one area but not in another is a common quality, a common feature of all life. Now in regard to how this dispersal or divergence or how would you say, radiation of microbial life through space occurs, it is necessary for you to appreciate the diversity of microbial life everywhere in the cosmos. Microbes are capable of growing in almost all kinds of conditions – in almost absolute zero and in extremes of heat – some even up to approximately 5,500 degrees C. So there is an absolute abundance of incredibly different microbes growing under all kinds of conditions. Now some of them would be what you recognised as microbes that you have on Earth – viruses, bacteria, things that are smaller than viruses that you don’t yet really consider to be life forms, fungi, amoebas, protozoans and so on. Some of them are represented by these groups. And some of them are very similar to what you have on Earth. But some of them are not and are incredibly different. Then there are microbes that are nothing like any of the groups that you have on Earth. They fall outside of anything that you know.

B : Can I just ask, how much of the microbial life in space could be classified under the groups we have on Earth and how much of the microbial life on other planets could be classified under the groups we have on Earth ? Things that are basically similar. Just rough percentages.

D : Alright in regard to space, what is similar in terms of classifications – in total about 6-7 % and on planets – in total about 3-4 %.

B : So basically from those numbers you’re suggesting that the types of microbes that exist elsewhere are incredibly different to anything we actually know ?

D : Yes.

B : Why more similarity with space microbes ?

D : Alright simple. In space there is more opportunity for things to remain unchanged and remain in a relative dormant state. On planets local conditions force changes to happen at the genetic and phenotypic level.

Now in regard to the microbes that exist in space, many of them are there because there was a prior local state that encouraged their proliferation. So what do I mean by that ? OK. Several possibilities exist. First, there may have been a planet or what you consider to be a moon. What ever there was was destroyed or transformed and the microbes – some of them survived. They may or may not now exist in a dormant state. In addition it is possible that the previous state included any number of transitionary states. When I say transition – I mean it wasn’t a natural state for the microbes. It was one in which they were moving from one reasonable stable state to another. So sometimes microbial communities exist in particular cold regions of space, where they are kept reasonable inert and stable, because they have been ejected from material that has been itself ejected from the surface or the interior of a planet. The microbes are no longer on any kind of stable home. They are then free form so to speak – floating on particular celestial currents. Some of them maybe picked up by the movements of planets or planetoids or moons through their own orbit through that region of space. So the microbe picks up a new home – a stable home, relative to drifting around through space. Of course some maybe picked up by other moving bodies passing through those regions of space. Now there are also different kinds of energetic ejections from both planets and their moons or some planetoids and solar bodies, in which the microbes maybe carried to a new home. They can reside for long periods of time in these ejections – depending on their type and they can also be carried great distances onto the surface of another body. Mostly a more stable body but sometimes onto another moving body – such as an asteroid. So for the most party these transitionary states are something that any microbial community that has been ejected from the surface of a planet or other body will endure. These can be long lasting or briefer – there are many variations.

Alright, so for the most part microbes come and go and proliferate wherever opportunity arises. Sometimes it is in space – although that is often unlikely with the extremes of radiation and temperature but it can happen with some microbes. Sometimes it is on a temporary body and sometimes it is on a permanent home. Where ever they find themselves they will adapt – either by becoming dormant or becoming active. Now these natural processes are widespread throughout the entire cosmos. There are regions that are more supportive of microbial communities and regions that are less supportive of microbial communities. There are even regions that are so thick with particular microbial communities that they are harvested for their microbial life, which is then used in all manner of ways to both seeds planets, planetoids, moons, other celestial bodies and space.

Now coming back to how it’s done. There are two main approaches for what you consider to be a type of panspermia. You have to bear in mind that the human definition is a fairly limited one. So let me elaborate on how things work.

B : Can you give me a better view of panspermia that goes beyond the human one then ?

D : Yes, I will. OK so the first approach is to look at what’s natural – that is where do we find different communities of particularity microbes and to map those. Now understand that this is always in flux. So what was a stable region one day with particularity groups of microbes in it, is next day different and this is true for every region. Things change. But we can say that there are general similarities and we work on those as well. So we generate these maps of different microbial communities for all regions of space and all known bodies that exist in space. So we have these maps of what we consider to be a natural distribution of different microbial communities. That is something that we look at whenever we are travelling or doing particular work in a particular region related to the microbial aspects of that world or space. Now in addition there are different groups who are developing different microbial life forms and these are created in different ways. Some of them are created from the raw genetic material so to speak and some of them are created from the energetic patterns that proceed the genetic material – what you have called light templates – so called light forms. For the most part – not in it’s entirety – the different collectives have maps of the distribution of these different microbes and microbial communities – where they were created, where they are stored, where they are grown and where they are traded and where they are distributed. So we know which particular regions of space they inhabit and which particular celestial bodies they inhabit. In addition we are constantly mapping how they are changing as a result of different conditions and how they are proliferating and how some of them are hybridising with pre-existing life forms – both in space and on celestial bodies. So we have these different maps of microbial communities. 3 different types of maps and they have different specialisations or refinements in the types of details within each one of them. So we know what we can expect to find in particular regions of space.

So for the most part we have a fairly accurate sense of what is where and in what populations. We also have a good sense of what celestial bodies are coming in contact the different microbial communities that exist on other celestial bodies and in space.

So what happens ? How does panspermia actually work ? I’m going to give you seven different ways in which it occurs and each one can be elaborated upon if that is what you wish. But for now I’ll keep it simple. Alright 1-7.

1. Microbes that are naturally distributed through space come in contact with some other celestial body. They may or may not proliferate on that said celestial body.
2. Microbes upon a celestial body come in contact with another celestial body. They may or may not proliferate on that said celestial body.
3. Microbes that come in contact with another celestial body are then ejected into space through impact or planetary or other body explosion. These are then adrift on celestial currents or come in contact with other celestial bodies.
4. Some of the microbes that exist in a transitionary state are deposited on another temporary body and these may continue to inoculate other temporary bodies or inoculate a stable and permanent home.
5. Regions of space are artificially inoculated with the intention that they in turn inoculate other celestial bodies or move on particular celestial currents towards planet forming regions or other regions favourable towards the conditions for life sustaining activities.
6. Different celestial bodies are impregnated with other forms of life that then allow for the successful inoculation of new microbial communities.
7. What you would consider to be virgin or purified celestial bodies are inoculated with microbial communities – as required, for the creation of life sustaining environments or for the creation of sustainable environments for the creation of new life forms.



Elon Musk – Setting the Standard for Stupidity in 3 Different Ways

I like Elon Musk but I think he thinks too much and feels too little ! His recent launch of a Tesla car into space set a new standard in human stupidity ! First he showed an absolutely careless regard for the purity of space. But he’s far from alone in that regard. Second he seems to have contravened the international planetary protection ethos (the UN Outer Space Treaty – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planetary_protection), sending countless microbes and possibly larger organisms into space, to end up god knows where. It would have been impossible for his team to irradiate the whole vehicle from scratch, without a Tesla car assembly plant under complete quarantine. And finally, he set a precedent that it’s OK for humans to do whatever they feel like and send whatever they want into space. Pioneer, yes ! Way cool video of space man, yes ! Role model, no ! This may well be the way of the corporate space cowboys ! I call it Panspermmuskia ! Don’t get me wrong, Musk is very cool. But even the coolest Dude’s can go too far ! However small the odds of Spaceman successfully pulling off Panspermuskia and contaminating another celestial body with Earth life, to go ahead and create your own kind of ethics sets a new standard that can be very influential. And one can’t help asking, “Billionaires and corporations are accountable to who ?”.

Elon musk – rich in financial wealth and ambition. Poor in ethics and the ability to see a bigger picture !


Ta Da…MMM…Yeah baby

11:57 pm here and a late night for me sorting through some goodies I collected today on a walk around the area near Scorpion Hill – 4 km from my house. I’ve been way too busy for blogging. Sorry. And besides which, writing about ETs all the time is boring ! So here’s one of those self centred where am I kind of posts that describes my recent life.

Watching : Birds, clouds, trees, sky and The Detectorists (on Netflix – fucking excellent !).

Listening : Bird song, silence, U2, my son, singing fences, This American Life, Radiotopia, Two Cellos, Queen, Philip Glass, Crash Test Dummies, heart beats.

Surprise : My son bought home a new cat – “Checkers” a 15 week black and white male, wonderful smiley covered package from my friend in Spain !

Last ET conversation : This morning.

Last ET Contact : Last Tuesday. Working on understanding.

Activities : Working in the vegy garden, raising Lokey the wallaby (via a carer though I do most of the work), raising a son, cutting wood, walking, driving, visiting Peter Mac Hospital, working through understanding how to re-orientate how I have been functioning re: healing, built the beginnings of a pseudo archeoastronomical stone calendar – marking out the winter solstice, working on a new website.

Finds : Buckles from 100 plus year old boots in gold mining country, exotic 100 year old plus perfumery & apothecary bottles.

Pickups : Rocks, soil, sand, leaves, lichen, puff balls, colonial history.

Possible discovery : Revisited the idea that Aboriginal people at local Star Rock may have discovered pi a log long time ago (I doubt it given there propensity to use only small numbers) but they left behind the perfect petroglyphic description of it (Sandor from England had his hand on it !) and for years I dismissed the whole idea, believing it just marked out the Southern Celestial Pole (which in itself is extraordinary and easily on par with the likes of Stonehenge – perhaps not in grandeur but in insight).

Ideas I’m exploring : A systematic overview of all human art and music possible trends in relation to different human and natural forces and how to invent new art styles and music (not for me as an artist but as an idea maker), new possibilities in minimalist music, mapping bird song, systems for understanding plant relationships, the movement of flame and its application to data mapping (flux theory and flux maps), contextual healing, factors effecting divergence and convergence (Divergence Theory / Convergence Theory).

Reading : FD. McCarthy’s : Australian Aboriginal Stone Implements, Jodorowsky’s and Mobius’s graphic novel : The Incal (thanks Frédéric !),  Frédéric Gros’s : A Philosophy of Walking, Edward Carr’s What is History ?, Alan Bennett’s : Untold Stories.

Dreams : About killing the old self and entering the spirit via an Aboriginal carved rock and the power of will to tame the unconscious, getting lost in Tasmania and being helped by a beautiful red haired woman who runs a hotel, countless fragments too strange to describe.

Challenges : Tumour update other than what I desired, back problems, son’s phone addiction, repeating some old mistakes.

Enjoying : Breathing, sunshine, moonshine, stars, rocks, walking, birds, Checkers, Lokey, Toa, food (always !), freedom, life, reading, sleep, hot water bottle, indoor and outdoor fires, warm turmeric and honey milk at night, opening smiley box from Spain, international friends, sleeping in on cold mornings, organising my life, working on ideas I’ve been collating for last 20 or so years.

Missing : Flowers, full vegy garden, the ocean, body surfing, Teathar and Yowie people in Gariewerd, touch, warm nights under the Milky Way, Flinders Ranges in South Australia, snorkelling, caving, hot curry, my old body free of aches and pains.

Writing : None ! Started out with great intentions last week to continue Dude interview book but instead have been transcribing some personal conversations that we have had over the last few years. About to get back to Dude interview book in next 30 mins.

Angry about : Global loss of biodiversity, rising human population, global refugee crisis, Toa’s electronic addiction, technological dependence, ongoing conflicts around the globe, people’s general lack of awareness about their connection to Earth, all pervasive advertising and propaganda, investment in defence, so called security and surveillance rather than education and biodiversity restoration and protection.

Curious about : The nature of underground plant/fungi relationships, local Aboriginal people (deceased) and mathematics/archeoastronomy, local ants here on our land and as yet undiscovered ants in local hill country, nearest 100 stars and their planets and ET races, the countless unknown classical and experimental composers and musicians I am slowly learning about, my son’s future, Conjoined Space anomalies I’ve experienced, the nature of the life force, Dude’s life, the Chenntramme (a very small ET race), Rare Earth Element was that are happening covertly, the global distribution of microplastics and how the fuck we’ll remove them from existence, European graphic novels and early American graphic novels, the many wonderful people of all nationalities that I could sit and have a great conversation with over a cuppa.

Grateful for : Everything that brings joy or transformation.



How to Be An Alchemist

Those of you who have followed this blog from the beginning, my previous blog or my music blog. will know that I have pretty eclectic music tastes. Music tastes that irritate most conservative people and most people who are wedded to particular genres. I always find it amusing that although I like I great deal of Avant-Garde music, most of the people I’ve known into Avant-Garde music loathe mainstream music. As far as I’m concerned if I can find something interesting in a piece of music or sound, it’s worth listening to.

If I’m honest my favourite band is probably U2. I’ve listened to them since 1986, although I remember hearing them in 1980 but I thought they were a bit weird back then. I liked a couple of songs but they were too alternative for my tastes ! It was only later I began to truly appreciate how unique they were.

I’ve always admired how 4 talentless aimless young boys could make music the way that they made music and I continue to be impressed at how they re-invent their music and musical personas. Larry Mullen Jr always impressed me as someone deeply authentic and humble, who has a shit load of talent (talent that he grew from nothing). He is one of the great under rated drummers of all time.

U2 may be a super-group now but back in the mid 80s they were still on the fringe and no other group resonated with the sensibilities of a lost young man than U2. Soon after I would discover metal and noise and others bands that resonated with me. But in 1986-1987, I felt like U2 were my band. Music makers who spoke to the deepest parts of me.

Today I look back at U2 and people like Larry Mullen Jr and see that he was an incredible alchemist. Someone who was able to take almost nothing, add a little passion and drive and turn it into pure gold. In some way I think people like Larry and the other members of U2 were an inspiration to me and helped me through the darkest parts of my life, to turn suffering into joy and isolation into relationship and a sense of belonging. People like Larry Mullen, teach us that anything is possible with the right attitude and a little bit of luck.

There are alchemists everywhere in many different forms. None of us knows where and when we will encounter an alchemist but we should be vigilant that anyone can inspire us with their alchemy. And if turns out that you are an alchemist, use your alchemy wisely and take nothing for granted.


An Update on My Health

Hey folks, just to let you know that yesterday I spent a whole day at Peter Mac Cancer Hospital, where I had my latest Gallium 68 PET scan, blood tests and spoke with a couple of Nuclear Medicine Consultants. The scans showed that my 13 plus months of Lanreotide LAR treatment has been ineffective at reducing the size of my tumours and in fact they seem to have grown by some 17 % in the last 6 months (which corresponds with when the drug was making me sickest). I need to go away and scrutinise the scans and work out the measurements for myself because quite frankly I’ve often found that highly qualified people are in too much of a hurry and make mistakes. My tumours to look at visually on the screen, look almost the same but you have to measure the 3 aspects of their dimensions – length, width and depth to calculate their volume and yesterday the consultants only measured two aspects, instead of three. So I need to be a bit fastidious and then I need to graph the changes over the last 8 years to get a clearer sense of how they have grown and if in fact the change this last 6 months is as significant as it appeared to be. The consultants wanted me to come back for another scan in 6-9 months but were OK when I said I didn’t want to come back for 18 months. I’ve now had somewhere in the order of 16 + CTs/PET scans and even though the PET scan only has a small CT component, the accumulative radiation dose from individual CT and individual PET scans (with the CT component) is doing me more harm than good because of it’s impact on healthy DNA. The less I get scanned the more chance my body has to heal !

So, it wasn’t the outcome I had wanted and it was basically a waste of time and left me sicker than I was, with several possible long term problems like Osteoporosis. My blood glucose is still wavering between 1.5-15 and that makes day to day functioning really difficult sometimes. I’m off to see a new endocrinologist locally, having given Peter Mac’s endo the flick after fucking me around for 2 years ! Dude tells me that several of the hormones that my tumours are secreting have not yet been discovered. But I’m optimistic that a new endo my be able to shed a little more light on some of the hormones that are being secreted and what I can do about stabilising my blood glucose. My original feelings were that LAR was not a healthy option for me and I tried to approach it with the right attitude. I can’t say for sure whether some kind of no-cebo kicked in or whether I just naturally had a bad reaction to the drug. Yesterday, much to my surprise, one of the consultants said that many people they see are forced to come off the drug because the side effects are worse than their illness. Which is the opposite of what you hear from the drug company and some oncologists, who say that you have to stay on it for life ! Life for who ? The fucking profiteers ! At $3,000 a shot (which was 99 % subsidised by the Australian healthcare system) (and $7,000 in the US)  this particular company is making a huge arse profit. And whether that’s to cover the 10 other drugs they made that failed or just greed, I don’t know. All I know is that I had about $40,000 drug in my arse and some of it still seems to be there in nodules that still hurt and it was a complete fucking waste !

As I’ve suggested previously, there is another treatment available to me, which is more aggressive and more dangerous and it’s the reason I originally went to Peter Mac. I’m really hesitant to even consider that approach now. And there is a treatment in Sydney which uses a completely novel method, in which hollowed out bacterial cells deliver micro RNA and microscopic natural chemosynthetic agents to tumour cells with almost no side effects. That maybe an option but they have absolutely no experience with my type of tumour. I’m the only person in Australia with this type of tumour and there is no real evidence about what works and what doesn’t.

I could rush into the last possible treatments but instead, I’m not panicking and going to have a week of tumour-thought-free before I go back and explore everything about this disease from scratch. I have a huge amount of help that has been offered by Dude, Anamika and my guides. And I have the experience of several tumours dissapearing in the past, when I appeared to be doing something right that was making a difference. I still believe that tumours are caused by a convergence of root causes and that allowing ourselves to feel healed is how to be healed but that requires a relatively stable and harmonious environment. Perhaps I am wrong about this and my belief is the problem but everything I have seen about my own life and in the lives of people with so called Cancer, demonstrates to me that this is true.

I have some ways of functioning (partly caused by the hormones and partly very old habits) that have not been healthy for me. I also have a very turbulent relationship with my electronics addicted son that needs to change. His mother and I both spoke to him yesterday about how we can no longer cope with his addiction. It is my wish that my son gets it ! It might sound harsh and unforgiving to say to someone “You’re making me sick !” but perhaps as a society we unnecessarily shy away from acknowledging the truth of unhealthy family dynamics and talking about how things really are. Instead ignoring it or externalising it. As I’ve suggested before, I often think tumours are a kind of symptom of family dysfunction – as with many diseases. My son is a very smart, caring young man but under the influence of electronics, he sometimes makes my life hell and forgets how hard my own life is relative to his own ! I also must take responsibility for some of my own behaviours – least of which is trying to do too much and giving away too much time and energy !  (Thank you for the reminder Frédéric !) The habits of a life time are the most challenging ones to change. When I used to work with people in psychotherapy / counselling relationships or in case management, I used to encourage them to focus on incremental steps towards change and it’s something that I need to remember myself. For years I’ve been trying to get to bed by 10 pm but it’s like my default time is 11 pm. And no amount of discipline gets me to bed at 10. So, I need to work with that – maybe minute by minute reductions.

My Chinese guide Kanatek is a very self disciplined, straight to the point, caring and yet brutal teacher. He has been reminding me for years about self discipline and diligence. Like a strict Zen Master, he has given me instructions to follow and on many issues I have failed abysmally ! And yet he remains a part of my life. Perhaps because he died of Prostrate Cancer because he too in life was unable to make changes that resulted him saying “No !” to the needs of others ! He knows how hard it is to make real change. But he also knows what it takes. Self discipline and diligence ! The most powerful thing he gave me was an instruction to map out how simple bad habits in my life were facilitating the growth of my tumours. I realised through this exhaustive exercise of following cause and effect (creating a causal tree), that my tumours were entirely the result of my own behaviour (including how I was internalising my feelings about my son’s unreasonable behaviour). And in mapping out how my tumours came to be, I also mapped out the solutions. That is to say, this causes that and leads to this or that, so nip this in the bud here and the rest will change. O but how hard it is in practice ! I can cure most addictions that people would have in an instant – tobacco, drugs, gambling etc. But doing less in my day and getting to bed early ? Fucking impossible ! The result ? Sometimes exhaustion, sometimes bad sleep, sometimes getting up too late, sometimes a cascade of tumour pain / hormone reactions, sometimes a sore back from reading too long, sometimes sore eyes from reading too long, the endless desire to catch up on unfinished work and projects etc. One simple thing – going to bed too late ! And that’s just one thing ! I could write a list of bad habits (not necessarily bad things but activities that are bad for me) that I have changed. And I could write a list of bad habits that man, I’m struggling with ! Some of these things are due to the presence and behaviours of certain people in my life and some are due entirely to me !

No treatment, whether it is a western or eastern medical treatment or a so called alternative treatment, addresses bad habits that are making us sick and unhealthy family dynamics or unhealthy functioning in a family member ! And that sadly is why there will never be an outright cure for all 500 + diseases that fall under the Cancer / Tumour family category. The only way to heal tumours is to heal a whole human being ! So you might wonder why I have bothered with treatment after all this time ! I was looking for a way to shrink my tumours a little to minimise the impact of the hormones on my body and prevent the tumours hurting my organs. No treatment ever cures ! Treatments only ever shrink or eradicate tumours. They don’t stop them coming back. So why sometimes after treatment do people stay cured ? Because some invisible factor has changed. Perhaps a person’s belief, perhaps how the person functions, perhaps a relationship, perhaps a sense of how they experience their emotions etc. Perhaps several things. Something that most people do not see has changed. It isn’t how much Turmeric you ate or how much MMS you consumed or how Bicarb Soda you flushed through your system or some whizz bang new immunotherapy. Those things just shrunk the tumours. It’s what changed in the persons habits or psyche, that remained largely or totally invisible to themselves and others that truly cured. I don’t know if I have ever met someone who had tumours who was ever totally cured. Perhaps Ian Gawler https://iangawler.com/ but he was still fearful enough to visit Mother Meera https://www.mothermeera.com/ regularly !

Today the only people I would listen to about healing, is someone who has survived their original diagnosis by 20 + years. All the rest of the tumour population that falls under that time span, is still in no man’s land, like myself. As for everyone else ? I’m reluctant to listen to anyone who has not experienced tumours, unless they had another chronic disease and they went through a whole of life transformation. So much of what people have to say is wishful thinking, grandiose delusion or best intentions. It isn’t experiential wisdom !

Tumours are a natural reaction to how we live. They are not a parasite or an enemy that requires an adversarial approach to be cured. They are merely trying to bring mind and body into harmony with one another. As my son reminded me yesterday during a long discussion about my results, our bodies always have uncontrolled cell division (tumour cells) but most of them are mopped up when the body is working well. The greatest problem we have is seeing that tumours are an enemy that we have to eradicate. No, we don’t have to eradicate them, we have to listen to them and hear what they have to teach us ! In the month I was diagnosed in 2007 I began talking with my tumour (see body dialogue in TSMs) and it identified itself by the name FREEDOM. I believe that all the instructions I needed for healing were in that one word ! But how easy it is to ignore freedom and the wisdom that our bodies bring us every single moment !

Wishing you all a glorious day of life on your hero’s / anti hero’s journey !

Falcon Who Soars  😉


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