Category Archives: life

TSM155 : Creating and Exploring Life with Causal Trees

Well I lied. I couldn’t help making one more TSM before I head off for a month. Today I’m housebound, resting up after toe surgery.

In this windless monologue 😉 I push further into the idea of causality (without going into the various definitions and philosophical interpretations), by looking at how causes and effects create causal chains and eventually causal trees and how we can create and explore life using this principle !

For those of you interested in the idea of karma (V pay attention here !), Causal Trees offer us the opportunity to choose the best possible karma, while accepting how things are and making healthier choices.

I think of the use of Causal Trees as a much better alternative to goal setting, using The Law of Attraction or any of the other waffle over emphasised by this or that channeler, The Secret or What the Bleep and their ilk.

I’ve tried to keep this discussion simple and I’ve used examples from my own life to illustrate how a Causal Tree can unfold within the possible future. I haven’t however discussed the impact of Causal Trees on the development of Conjoined Spaces. I’ll save that for another monologue.

Your thoughts are as usual, always welcome !

Enjoy ! 😉

Relevant Links :

 

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Breathe

Despite everything that every teacher, every guru, every sage, every wanna be somebody ever says, there is only one solution to all of life’s problems…To breathe and keep on breathing. Because right now you live and when you stop breathing you die. Breath is all that separates us from death. So breathe and let yourself be. Slowly, feeling everything that is breath and everything that arises because of it. Don’t ever, ever, take your breath for granted, while others are fighting for it to stay alive !

 

Which Aspect ?

Thanks to Frédéric here’s a little range of self revelations that I don’t usually make. Here are some preferences but sometimes I also like both. It’s interesting that some of these preferences have changed as I age. And your preferences ?

  • Bowie or Neil Young ? Neil Young.
  • Pink Floyd or Queen ? Queen.
  • Tori Amos or Kate Bush ? Can’t choose.
  • Bette Midler or Shirley Bassey ? Midler.
  • Metallica or Megadeth ? Metallica.
  • Fear factory of Biohazard ? Fear Factory.
  • Joy Division or The Cure ? The Cure.
  • Vivaldi or Bach ? Can’t choose.
  • Black Sabbath or The Doors ? The Doors.
  • The Rolling Stones or The Beatles ? The Beatles.
  • The Clash or Siouxsie Sioux & The Banshees. Siouxsie.
  • Brian Eno or Karl Stockhausen ? Eno.
  • Hawkwind or The Who ? Hawkwind.
  • Motorhead or Nirvana ? Nirvana.
  • Guns n Roses or Motley Crue ? Guns N Roses
  • Manowar or Candlemass ? Manowar.
  • Queensryche or Dream Theatre ? Queensryche.
  • Mahler of Beethoven ? Beethoven.
  • Ornette Coleman or Charlie Parker ? Coleman.
  • Terry Riley or Phillip Glass ? Riley.
  • Ancient Chinese classical music or Ancient Indian classical music? Chinese.
  • William Burroughs or Allen Ginsberg ? Burroughs.
  • Nietzsche or Aldous Huxley ? Huxley.
  • Mark Twain or Nathaniel Hawthorn ? Mark Twain.
  • Victor Hugo or Leo Tolstoy ? Hugo.
  • Einstein or Tesla ? Einstein.
  • Mysticism or Shamanism ? Shamanism, sometimes.
  • John Keats or Emily Dickinson ? Dickinson.
  • Christina Rosettti or Lizzie Siddal ? Siddal.
  • Political Poetry or Humanist Poetry ? Humanist.
  • Rumi or Tagore ? Togore.
  • Mahayana Buddhism or Theravada Buddhism ? Theravada.
  • Guru or Anti-Guru ? Anti-Guru.
  • J. Krishnamurti or U. Krishnamurti ? Can’t choose.
  • Gilligan or The Professor ? Gilligan.
  • Performance Poetry or Written Poetry ? Written.
  • Sartre or Camus ? Sartre.
  • Andrew Lloyd Webber or Stephen Sondheim ? Can’t choose.
  • Brunettes or Blondes ? Brunettes.
  • Jeans or Trousers ? Jeans.
  • Tie or Bow Tie ? Can’t choose.
  • Ascension or Descension. Descension.
  • Light room or Dark Room ? Light Room. Kill all curtains !
  • Andy Warhol or Vincent van Gogh ? van Gogh.
  • Ken Wilbur or Mother Theresa ? Mother Theresa.
  • Incense or Oil ? Oil.
  • Failure or success ? Can’t choose. Failure teaches more.
  • Ear Rings or Nose Rings ? Ear Rings.
  • Neville Longbottom of Harry Potter. Longbottom.
  • Abduction or Experience ? Experience.
  • Mandarins or Oranges ? Mandarins.
  • Oaks or Elms ? Oaks.
  • Eucalypts or Pine Trees ? Eucalypts.
  • Eating McDonald’s or Eating Dirt ? Dirt.
  • The Future or The Present ? The Present.
  • Unexpected Death or Anticipated Death ? Can’t choose.
  • Lingerie or Skin ? Skin.
  • City or Remote ? Remote.
  • A million Dollars or A Wish ? A wish.
  • Finland or America ? Finland.
  • Hungary or Romania ? Hungary.
  • Sweden or Norway ? Can’t choose.
  • Holden or Ford ? Mitsubishi !

All That You Can be

I dedicate this brief post to Isobella, Frédéric, Sandor, Jacqui, Nick, Catharine, Darci and my son. Beautiful people on a journey into the great unknown !

***

Yesterday I turned 48. That doesn’t really mean much, except that it means that I’m still here. My sister would have been 47 on November 24th but she died in February. The reminder of how fortunate I am, is always very close to my awareness. Every day brings whatever it brings and with it I suffer and I experience freedom and everything in between. The ‘I’ longs and yearns for so much, endures so much, creates so much, deludes with so much, imagines so much and desires so much. Yet it is only one aspect of the totality of our being.

There is so much more to who and what we are, if we only allow ourselves to open up to a self that is beyond identity.

But I don’t want to suggest that we should ignore the I aspect of our entity. In fact I want to suggest that you embrace your I. So how the hell do we do that ? By acknowledging and feeling everything. See the ugliness of your life and feel it. See the fear in your life and feel it. See the beauty in your life and feel it. See the anxiety in your life and feel it. See the physical and emotional pain in your life and feel it. See the desire in your life and feel it – letting it take you where it wants and learn from what it creates. See the aspirations and dreams of your life and feel what is at their core and what you experience as you chase them. See your relationships exactly as they are and feel everything that comes with them. The good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful.

You are this being experiencing the I and all the drama that comes with it. So don’t deny it, run away from it or suppress it. Let it live.

One way to understand the I of your existence is to reflect on it through exploration. Ask yourself questions. Feel and hear the answers. What is the tone of your life right now ? Positive or negative or both ?What are the dominant emotions that are at play in your life on a regular basis ? What themes dominate your life or describe what your experiencing now ? And why do they seem to be playing out right now ?

Sometimes its worth stepping back and seeing your life like a work of art – a novel say. Look at it like a giant story full of smaller stories. Full of dramas, plots, themes, archetypes, people, places, situations/events, tragedies, comedies, births, deaths, sacrifices, initiations and rebirths. Don’t judge, just look. See, recognise, learn and accept. This is the journey of your I and everything has value. Value now and value later. Value to you and value to others. Value to everything that will ever be.

 

The Negro Question

Albert Einstein was to me, above all a great humanist, who saw the human problem.

He would have understood that unless we resolve racial bias and inequality, mankind will be unready to become a space faring race.

 

TSM144 : Aloneness & Loneliness – Symptoms of the Human Condition

This monologue gets off to a bit of a rambling start with my venting about killer feral cats etc. but 13 mins in, things begin proper.

The issue of aloneness & loneliness is an issue that is close to my heart. In today’s walk and talk I approach the issue of aloneness & loneliness by talking about my son’s life (with his permission) and my own adolescence. I’m often amazed at how sometimes, our children mirror our own lives. What is aloneness & what is loneliness and how does our authentic self relate to the experience of loneliness ? Does loneliness only happen to introverts or are extroverts equally vulnerable, to this most painful symptom of the human condition ?

Loneliness is a universal experience. Today I ponder some potential solutions to loneliness and speculate as to whether whether or not loneliness plays a significant role in our lives.

Relevant links :

TSM143 : The Shocking Reality of How Things Are & The Seasons of Life

Sometimes we try and turn away from the shocking reality of how things are. But how things are is how they are. Isness is a powerful ally !

In this walk and talk I explore how nature’s seasons and the cycles of nature, parallel the seasons of our life and how we all face the same seasons of life, as part of the seasons of the human clock – from the cradle to the grave.

I offer a tour of the seasons here on this land and suggest how facing the shocking reality of all that nature brings, helps us to face the shocking reality of how things are in our own life. I suggest that the seasons of nature and of human life are necessary to create awareness and to help us grow. Life is both predictable and unpredictable and if we have courage, we can stay open to anything that life might throw at us.

Relevant links (also relevant to TSM144) :

 

TSM133 : The Body of Our Life’s Work and The Bodies of Work Within Our Life

What is life ?

In today’s monologue I explore the idea of the body of our life’s work and the bodies of work within our life. I explore how our life is the sum of all our life’s work and is reflected in the final moments of who we are in our life (or at any moment) and how at any moment we are working on a body of work, whether we are conscious of it or not. I speculate that we can consciously choose the bodies of work that fill our life – whether they are visible or invisible and suggest that a life well lived, is one in which we come to understand and develop some awareness of the nature of the bodies of work that we allow to fill our life.

My iPod gave a lot of trouble during this recording and I had to stitch together separate segments after it unexpectedly shut down. Forgive any repetition !

Enjoy ! 😉

What’s My Scene ?

What’s My Scene ? I was 18 when this song by the Hoodoo Goorus came out in 1987.
I was living with a pedophile uncle, having fled boarding school the year before; my Dad lived in Hong Kong, my sister was in boarding school 3 hours away and my mum lived 1000 km away; I had a couple of buddies after being a loner for so long; I was at school with girls and boys after 5 1/2 years in a boys boarding school; my uncle was bonking an 18 year old floozy, drinking heavily, bashing people up and doing lots of drugs; and his buddy was bonking a huge breasted woman called JUGS, who tried to seduce me (my hands found their way to the crack in her jeans but fortunately didn’t go any further); and I was otherwise a very fucking confused kid ! Some songs define a period of our life ! What’s My Scene was one such song in what might have been one of the best and worst years of my life. 

The next song to define my life was U2’s I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For. It was a song that resonated with me because it reminded me that I had been seeking something that was always beyond my grasp. I didn’t even know what I was seeking because it was so fucking illusive. It was also the song that encouraged me to begin writing for myself (something I’d forgotten until Dude reminded me a few years ago). And without the entire Joshua Tree album, I don’t know how I would have made it through my final year of high school. Around the same time I was enjoying U2, I was also listening to INXS and the song Mediate made me realize that poetry didn’t have to rhyme. I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For and Mediate laid the foundation for my life as a writer and gave me the inspiration to see that writing could save me from what was quickly becoming the darkest period of my life.

There are many more songs that define 1987 for me but these 3 three speak loudest. I can’t listen to any of these songs, without remembering this period of my life.

Back then I was a lonely kid with a small ghetto blaster and an old stereo from the 70’s, living in his uncle’s garage. Today we have so many ways to enjoy music and to connect with people who are similar to us. No one has to be alone, the way that we used to be.

It’s funny how music binds our memories and memories bind our feelings. I wonder if there are songs that define periods of your life ?

 

For Little Sun

Sometimes people who burned brightly dissapear from our lives and we never know what happened to them. One of those bright lights has just reappeared for me ! Little Sun, this is for you. Thank god your still here ! 😉

Here’s to all the people who try so hard to continue to exist !

 

 

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