Category Archives: life

The Negro Question

Albert Einstein was to me, above all a great humanist, who saw the human problem.

He would have understood that unless we resolve racial bias and inequality, mankind will be unready to become a space faring race.



TSM144 : Aloneness & Loneliness – Symptoms of the Human Condition

This monologue gets off to a bit of a rambling start with my venting about killer feral cats etc. but 13 mins in, things begin proper.

The issue of aloneness & loneliness is an issue that is close to my heart. In today’s walk and talk I approach the issue of aloneness & loneliness by talking about my son’s life (with his permission) and my own adolescence. I’m often amazed at how sometimes, our children mirror our own lives. What is aloneness & what is loneliness and how does our authentic self relate to the experience of loneliness ? Does loneliness only happen to introverts or are extroverts equally vulnerable, to this most painful symptom of the human condition ?

Loneliness is a universal experience. Today I ponder some potential solutions to loneliness and speculate as to whether whether or not loneliness plays a significant role in our lives.

Relevant links :

TSM143 : The Shocking Reality of How Things Are & The Seasons of Life

Sometimes we try and turn away from the shocking reality of how things are. But how things are is how they are. Isness is a powerful ally !

In this walk and talk I explore how nature’s seasons and the cycles of nature, parallel the seasons of our life and how we all face the same seasons of life, as part of the seasons of the human clock – from the cradle to the grave.

I offer a tour of the seasons here on this land and suggest how facing the shocking reality of all that nature brings, helps us to face the shocking reality of how things are in our own life. I suggest that the seasons of nature and of human life are necessary to create awareness and to help us grow. Life is both predictable and unpredictable and if we have courage, we can stay open to anything that life might throw at us.

Relevant links (also relevant to TSM144) :


TSM133 : The Body of Our Life’s Work and The Bodies of Work Within Our Life

What is life ?

In today’s monologue I explore the idea of the body of our life’s work and the bodies of work within our life. I explore how our life is the sum of all our life’s work and is reflected in the final moments of who we are in our life (or at any moment) and how at any moment we are working on a body of work, whether we are conscious of it or not. I speculate that we can consciously choose the bodies of work that fill our life – whether they are visible or invisible and suggest that a life well lived, is one in which we come to understand and develop some awareness of the nature of the bodies of work that we allow to fill our life.

My iPod gave a lot of trouble during this recording and I had to stitch together separate segments after it unexpectedly shut down. Forgive any repetition !

Enjoy ! 😉

What’s My Scene ?

What’s My Scene ? I was 18 when this song by the Hoodoo Goorus came out in 1987.
I was living with a pedophile uncle, having fled boarding school the year before; my Dad lived in Hong Kong, my sister was in boarding school 3 hours away and my mum lived 1000 km away; I had a couple of buddies after being a loner for so long; I was at school with girls and boys after 5 1/2 years in a boys boarding school; my uncle was bonking an 18 year old floozy, drinking heavily, bashing people up and doing lots of drugs; and his buddy was bonking a huge breasted woman called JUGS, who tried to seduce me (my hands found their way to the crack in her jeans but fortunately didn’t go any further); and I was otherwise a very fucking confused kid ! Some songs define a period of our life ! What’s My Scene was one such song in what might have been one of the best and worst years of my life. 

The next song to define my life was U2’s I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For. It was a song that resonated with me because it reminded me that I had been seeking something that was always beyond my grasp. I didn’t even know what I was seeking because it was so fucking illusive. It was also the song that encouraged me to begin writing for myself (something I’d forgotten until Dude reminded me a few years ago). And without the entire Joshua Tree album, I don’t know how I would have made it through my final year of high school. Around the same time I was enjoying U2, I was also listening to INXS and the song Mediate made me realize that poetry didn’t have to rhyme. I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For and Mediate laid the foundation for my life as a writer and gave me the inspiration to see that writing could save me from what was quickly becoming the darkest period of my life.

There are many more songs that define 1987 for me but these 3 three speak loudest. I can’t listen to any of these songs, without remembering this period of my life.

Back then I was a lonely kid with a small ghetto blaster and an old stereo from the 70’s, living in his uncle’s garage. Today we have so many ways to enjoy music and to connect with people who are similar to us. No one has to be alone, the way that we used to be.

It’s funny how music binds our memories and memories bind our feelings. I wonder if there are songs that define periods of your life ?


For Little Sun

Sometimes people who burned brightly dissapear from our lives and we never know what happened to them. One of those bright lights has just reappeared for me ! Little Sun, this is for you. Thank god your still here ! 😉

Here’s to all the people who try so hard to continue to exist !



TSM100 : The Illusion of a Singular Physical Self & the Microbiomes Within

As someone who has always been obsessed with microbial life, I have been fascinated with how microbes play a role in every single ecosystem – including within our bodies. A recent discussion with Dude about the human need for Round Worms and Thread Worms (yes you read correctly), led us to an interesting exploration of Microbiomes and how modern humans have disturbed their natural bodily systems.

In today’s monologue I explore what it means to have a singular physical self, in view of the fact that we contain countless biomes – made up of organisms from the 5 kingdoms (Monera, Fungi, Protista, Plantae, Animalia) and the potential implications that these microbiomes have for our mental/emotional and physical health and ability to communicate with the other parts of us.

Enjoy ! B. 😉

Those who want to really understand this idea in depth, should read the works of Lynn Margulis :

Relevant links :

Here are some cool videos related to this monologue.


ETs and Up – Knowing Us Intimately

Today I spoke to my sister, who as some of you know is very ill with brain tumours. During our conversation I became painfully aware of the people around her and how their lives are likely to unfold as she gets sicker and later when she’s no longer here. When I worked in psychotherapy with individuals and groups, I developed many intimate relationships with people, in which I became aware of how different lives were unfolding and likely to unfold. Every now and then I meet a former client or hear about a former client and have some sense of how their life has unfolded many years down the track. It’s nice to imagine that things have turned out well but that isn’t always the case. Sometimes people’s lives have unfold differently to what I would have imagined but often they have unfolded in the way that I had imagined – following the patterns that I saw when I was in contact with them.

One of my favourite documentaries of the last 30 years is the Up series, which began with 7-Up. (I think I’ve spoken about this documentary before – here or on my old blog.) The Up series follows the lives of fourteen 7 year old English kids, throughout their life, interviewing them at 7 year intervals. The last in the series was 56 Up and the next one is 63 Up, in 2019. At this point I guess the series will continue until the participants die or the director dies. The series has also inspired many other Up series in other countries but most of those are well behind the original series.

What I love about the series, is seeing how an individuals life unfolds – sometimes in ways that are easy to predict and sometimes in ways that are totally unpredictable. It’s also fascinating to see the drama and how individual people deal with the situations that life has thrown up. I think watching the series also helps us to feel great empathy for the individuals who have allowed their lives to be laid bare to the world. In each of the characters we see someone we know and maybe sometimes we even see ourselves.

I think a series like Up is good for the entire human race and I believe that we need more longitudinal studies and documentaries to help us make sense of our lives and to teach us how to live !

I think almost all of us can see what’s good about programs like these. Although the people who opted out of the original documentary might disagree. I think if we allow ourselves to enter into the lives of the people in these films without judgment, we begin to see how most people are trying their best and sometimes things just happen. I feel strongly that films like this help us to see the human condition as it really is – at least to some degree. We never really know the internal experiences of another person but by looking at their outward lives through time, we begin to have some kind of understanding of what life has felt like for them and what their struggles and joys have been.

I’ve said before that there are many ETs who know us better than we now ourselves. So let me clarify that a little, in the context of the UP series. There are ETs like the Muajra, Sar’won’dee, Teal’hia and Sarpalxn; who know us across life times. They know each individual life from the inside and the outside. They know our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, values, bodies and internal and external experiences. Some, like the one’s above, also have the ability to record every moment of our lives  – in a way that is beyond our comprehension. I’ve had it explained to me but I can never explain it to you because it was explained in ways I don’t have access to or fully understand. There are also ETs based on Earth who collate records on every person who has ever existed. Those of you who have heard me speak of Dude and Number 1, maybe interested to know that they control these records. Records which are kept in a physical form in several buildings on different continents. The ETs have a surprisingly large volume of information on your average human being. I won’t tell you for now why they keep these records but suffice to say it is because they value our lives and not for any insidious reason. They also have equivalent energetic records, which mirror the physical records and energetic records of our entire experience of being.

Some of these ETs know every aspect of our existence – in this life and in others. Naturally as a result of knowing us so well,  they know everything about humanity – all our disciplines, all our history, all our secrets, all our plans. etc. In every sense they have a god like presence in our lives – totally hidden but always aware. Therefore they act in ways that reflect what they know. This has certain implications which are far reaching for all of us and all of humanity now and in the future. First, they have Earth’s best interests at heart. Second, they have each of our best interests at heart. Some of the other implications, which I am sure that you can deduce from what I have said, include (but are not limited to) the following :

  • They know what is best for us, based on billions of years of experience in creating life forms and in nurturing them.
  • Any official disclosure of the ET presence on Earth and our true origins has and always will be controlled by the ETs.
  • The ETs established and maintain the secrecy, as they have done for 5,500 years on Earth. They do this to protect us from ourselves. In the structure that I refer to as The Architecture, the ETs control unidirectional information flow from the lower arms of The Architecture. The lower arms were created by humans and humans created different types of secrecy to protect different vested interests. The ETs know every single thing they do ! The upper components of The Architecture will be here for thousands of years. The lower arms of The Architecture have a finite life and are allowed to exist for very specific reasons. On other planets there is no secrecy, as those races were able to deal with THE TRUTH. We are not like them and have never been able to deal with THE TRUTH. The ETs are aware of all probable futures in which we are exposed to THE TRUTH and so chose the best possible solution to help us mature.
  • The ETs know which humans to have open contact with and which humans not to have open contact with.
  • The ETs work with humans in covert projects for specific reasons that have to do with creating the healthiest possible timeline for our descendants. They do not do this work to assist humans with vested interests to gain what they want. These are merely peripheral outcomes, which the ETs fully understand.
  • Knowing us intimately helps the ETs to tolerate our weaknesses and to nurture us slowly, in ways that help our individual and collective development.
  • The ETs have and will always give specific individuals certain abilities to nurture the well being of the planet and humanity. They know how individual lives will unfold and who has the best temperament and constellation of physical and emotional traits to aid the development of certain abilities. They also know what abilities are needed at what time and the impact these will have on the species, the planet and the individual lives of the people with the abilities.
  • The ETs know which individuals they can choose to assist in the development of specific areas which effect the human race. For example, they know the best scientists to work with, the best communicators, the best therapists, the best architects and designers, the best inventors, the best mathematicians and physicists etc.  They may even work with someone to develop something that has negative consequences for the human race, if that leads to a healthier timeline for the human race or for Earth. See my post on Dude’s work with Ascanio Sobrero and how that inspired Alfred Nobel to unleash hell !
  • The ETs understand the human life cycle well – in an individual life and across life times. They understand the patterns that rule our lives. They know what we need and when we need it. They know how individual situations are likely to effect our growth.
  • The ETs understand human civilization well and how human civilizations rise and fall. They understand the patterns that rule our collective behaviour and history. They know what events are necessary to bring about certain changes in our collective growth.
  • Because the ETs understand our lives and how short our lives are by comparison to their own, they have great empathy for us. They do not have compassion because they just do what needs to be done, which is what you do when you have real awareness. But they do have great feeling for us. Although we may not always recognize it.

Anyway, that’s just a short list. I leave it to you to think about the implications that arise from the ETs knowing everything about us.

Check our Neil’s story below, for a sense of what it might be like to be an ET and have feeling for a being with a very short life.

I tried hard to find the entire Up series online but couldn’t find it. Maybe it’s out there somewhere. If you can’t find it, do yourself a favour and buy the whole series !


Mind and Life XXX

This is a great series of dialogues between Buddhists and Scientists hosted by the Dalai Lama. This is the 30th year of dialogues !

Mind and Life Institute :


The First and Last Freedom

Hey friends, here is yet another article I posted on the Project Avalon Forum a few years ago. May you enjoy ! 😉


* * *


A typical day on Project Avalon or any of these kinds of forums, provides a person with an opportunity to see how much of the human populous functions (at least privileged portion). What we typically see in such places is a spectrum of personality types – many of which remain focused on what is wrong with the world and how those in power control their freedom. Many of these kinds of people believe that they are “awake” and that the world exists in polarities. Many such people remain ignorant of the relative dualities of human perception (one object in relation to another) and absolute realities. They project their perceptions onto all they experience – whether it is first hand or second hand. And so we have the world of Reptilians, the world of the Archons (which has been bastardised from ancient Greek culture and the Gnosticism ), the world of the bastard powers that be, the world of the elite and the masters of humanity, malevolent aliens and the work of the devil. Absent from the reasoning of most humans is the ability to recognise individual, cultural and species archetypes and how we project these onto anything that is not self. We do not like to look within ! This myopic way of human functioning is what has largely created us and them and the sense that there is always something out to get us. Our lack of empathy for our common journey as individual human beings and for the journey of all living beings, is one of our greatest weaknesses and yet ironically is also one of our greatest strengths.

I would like to remind people that ultimately we are our own worst enemy. Don’t think for a minute if you dispatched those in power that you would create a better system of leadership and a world without problems. Until each and every human being develops true self awareness (and not just thinks he has woken up), human beings will continue to create pain and suffering. The idea of human evolution and human progress is a delusion. It may exist on a relative scale but overall, we are not so different to any of our ancestors.

I have been asked a few times by different people “what did your ET friends show you about the future ?” and for the most part I have been reluctant to say. But I will share one thing. I was shown various intervals in the probable human future. 10,000 years from now humans will still be ignorant, still be stupid, still cause themselves and each other suffering and still have problems. All be it the human world will be a nicer place to live, we as a species will fundamentally remain the same. Until humanity at large looks inwards, there will be now real evolution of our species.

If you really want to wake up, look inwards and see that you are already free. You do not need a guru or a best selling author to show you the way or to wait for all the conditions of the world to be perfect. There will always be chaos because that is the nature of existence. No matter who is in power, chaos will always reign.

Why give away your power ???

YOU control YOU, more than anyone else. To believe otherwise is to imprison yourself needlessly.

You are free :

  • To be still.
  • To be silent.
  • To recognise that you have a choice.
  • To recognise that you have choiceless awareness.
  • To react or not to react.
  • To think what you want and to fall prey to the ebb and flow of the monkey mind.
  • To feel what you want.
  • To experience all that your body brings to your experience.
  • To repress and deny what you want.
  • To behave and act how you want.
  • To see, hear, taste, smell and feel the touch of whatever you want.
  • To develop self awareness.
  • To get lost in your delusions.
  • To recognise the factors that have conditioned your life.
  • To understand how you perceive, what you believe and to understand how you became who you are.
  • To take responsibility for your actions and who you are.
  • To learn whatever you want from who or whatever you want.
  • To choose a spiritual practice (or a religion) for the heart – whether others know what it is or not.
  • To know your true nature.
  • To feel your own life force and to use it well.
  • To see the relative and the absolute.
  • To prepare for dying and death.
  • To imagine whatever you want.
  • To try to understand anything that you mind desires to understand.
  • To understand the causes of your suffering.
  • To choose how you experience pain and how you suffer.
  • To believe what you want – whether you express it or not.
  • To choose your own life teacher.
  • To love as you want.
  • To create your own heaven and your own hell.
  • To see separateness and/or wholeness.
  • To see the many and/or the one.
  • To remember the past and imagine the future.
  • To hope.
  • To abandon hope for an act of presence.
  • To cause pain to what and whomever you like.
  • To relax.
  • To look up or down or sideways.
  • To feel your breathe and feel your heart beat.
  • To see everything that is in your experience now and here.
  • To grow some of your own food.
  • To grow some plants.
  • To grow a flower.
  • To live with abundance.
  • To live in harmony with the things that matter most to you.
  • To accept things as they are.
  • To enjoy water.
  • To recognise what you can change, what you can’t and what is worth the effort.
  • To gossip or not to gossip.
  • To wear your own face and not someone else’s.
  • To drop all your masks and be true to your self.
  • To pray to whom or whatever you like.
  • To decide what you are.
  • To spend as much time on your electronic devices as you want.
  • To disconnect from your electronic devices or moderate your use of them.
  • To talk to another human being.
  • To talk to an animal or a plant or a dead person.
  • To choose what is important in your life.
  • To desire everything you want.
  • To be lonely or alone for the briefest time.
  • To surrender to what is..
  • To stay angry and blame.
  • To feel guilty or ashamed.
  • To let go of anything.
  • To live within time or outside of time.
  • To see things with or without a name.
  • To cultivate relationships.
  • To fear anything and everything.
  • To laugh at anything.
  • To feel sunlight whenever it is available.
  • To touch the Earth whenever it is possible.
  • To breath the air of Earth.
  • To believe or disbelieve in the idea of God.
  • To gather seeds of knowledge and wisdom and plant them wherever you want.
  • To gather seeds of living plants and plant them wherever you can.
  • To give gratitude to who and what you like, as often as you like.
  • To celebrate the beauty of existence.
  • To celebrate the beauty of Earth and all it’s creatures.
  • To transform.
  • To allow space for the unknown.
  • To find meaning.
  • To keep things simple.
  • To live.
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