Hey folks – a quick update. I’m in the darkest period of my life right now. I’m dealing with the most challenging event of my life (something really really strange that has come completely out of left field when I least expected any more turbulence) and I can’t share it with anyone. On top of that I’m dealing with Susy dying and trying to get ready to start my own tumour treatment.
And Steven as to your comment – “But I had to ask more about your ” weird event”… you can’t leave a cliffhanger like that…c’mon ! OK, of course you can, but an event you say ” nobody else could have ever experienced? Even in your weird and anomaly filled world, that’s quite a claim! Will you disclose it on here sometime later? If not, but you feel able to share privately, feel free to write to my personal email, which I assume you have access to. I will of course treat anything shared as confidential, although I appreciate you only have my word for that.” You can just shove it up your fucking ass ! You have to be kidding me ! I share way too much here, so don’t think for a moment I’m going to share something that no fucking person on Earth could understand ! Especially not you ! I don’t even know you ! Fuck you ! You have no idea who I am or what the people in my life have experienced ! Some things are fucking weird and very uncommon and you need to just accept that !
I’m tired of sharing so much here and people pushing me !
Thanks to everyone who understands that this is a very difficult period for me right now. No more fucking love and light bullshit. I’m not like that ! I’ve had to deal with more shit than most people have in two life times ! I’m raging and hurting and have been close to taking my life ! Which is something I have’t experienced for nearly 2 decades. I thought all that was behind me. If I can’t make it through this event that has been unfolding, I’ll be withdrawing completely from the internet. And if I do make it through, then some sort of normal me will return. In 14 days I’ve had about 18-20 hours sleep and I’m getting sicker. I’m sorry but the nice balanced Bright has fucked off. There’s a lot of hurt and pain right now that I’m not processing well. So I may not be the nicest person to interact with. Forgive me for anything harsh that I might say. It’s coming from a very dark place. A place that I usually keep hidden from everyone.
Everything I know and believe is being tested right now. Every spiritual teaching I’ve assimilated, every thing I’ve learned about how to live, every value, what’s right and what’s wrong. I’m truly at break point ! But maybe a few days sleep will help my mind to settle. And if things go well, the situation might well begin to make more sense. It’s something that I didn’t see and I don’t understand but I have always had a sense that it (I didn’t know what the it was) was there. And now it may take 6-12 months for me to fully understand and integrate what has been happening. I accept it but it’s come as a massive shock – like seeing someone you love murdered. Some part of me has died because of this !
So please friends, try to understand I’m in great pain ! Emotionally and physically.
I’m flying up to see my dying sister in a couple of days, provided she lives that long. I don’t know when my next post will be.
Be well friends,