Thank You and Fuck You (Tick Tock)
The ‘Thank You’ is for some of you and the ‘Fuck You’ is for others of you. You know which one goes where !
Thank you everyone for your very kind and caring heart felt sentiments regarding my illness and to everyone else who supports what I have to share. Well, the worst of my recent tumour related illness has passed – 2 days of Carcinoid Crisis – tachycardia, palpitations, nausea, stomach cramps, bloating, vomiting, flushing and diarrhea. Many people who experience this without medical attention, don’t make it through; so I am very fortunate.
I became sick this time due to a convergence of issues – mostly things I allowed myself to feel and pushing myself too hard on all fronts and neglecting my body. So it was my own fault and if I don’t learn from this, I may not survive the next episode.
So please remember what I have said before – my time here sharing on the internet will be brief. I now have a finish date in mind. A time when I feel all this kind of work will be done. I have so many other things I wish to explore ! I have no interest in the idea and delusion of “SOMEBODYNESS”, that many exploring this field are afflicted with and honestly if I could wind the clock back, I would have kept everything to myself.
I feel I have opened myself and those I love up too much, shared too much, let people see too much vulnerability and exposed myself to too many nutcases, assholes, judgmental pricks (there’s a judgment for you) and covert corporate /military / intelligence groups.
Let me state categorically to all those who read my blogs and communications in secret who fall under the shadow of what I call the lower arms of The Architecture : Everything you do is seen by those who know your every thought and every feeling. They guide the development of life on this planet and not you. They will be here when you are long dead and nothing but dust. They will be here when all memory of you is gone from Earth. And none of you, unless they choose it to be so, will ever meet a real ET or develop a relationship with them. Your ignorance and your avarice are your death knell. Your lack of self knowledge and your desire for control are your undoing. What good did you ever do for Earth or it’s inhabitants ? One day you will all have to account for how you have lived and what you have done. You had better be sure you can face your own truth ! Know that the knowledge and information you covet, flows in one direction – all the way to the ETs who look after this world, through the heart and soul of the one’s I refer to as Number 1 and Number 2 (Dude). You know nothing but a fraction of a piece of dust. Yet you seek to control the dust for all things impermanent ! You fools ! Is $200,000 or $100, 000, 000, a house and material assets really enough to keep you in a state of security, when you live in a state of perpetual fear of the other ? Look at the world you leave your children ! Well done, top marks for foresight and for creating a world of genuine prosperity ! Take your DECEPTION IDEOLOGIES and shove them up your arse ! That ought to awaken something ! And to those who wonder what the profile of 9,000 years of the human future really looked like – nothing like what you wanted !
And to the nutcases and assholes of the world : Fuck off imbeciles and find someone else to annoy ! Know thy self !
Apologies to my ordinary readers who might be wondering, “Where the hell did that come from ?”. The answer my friends, is “Years of frustration with control freaks !”. One of the great things about having tumours that secrete excessive amounts of hormones, is that I sporadically lose control of the ability to control my expression of anger !
But I remain at heart a kind person who cares about Earth and all species who share this world with us. I may despise those who work in the shadows and the nutcases of the world but I recognize that we all wounded and that we all suffer – because all phenomenon are impermanent, we cling to impermanent phenomena seeking lasting satisfaction and because we mistake ‘perceived reality’ as ‘ultimate reality’. I dare say if I met some of these folks who work in the shadows I might like them very much and think highly of them as human beings. I might even like 1 or 2 of the worlds genuine nutcases ! Assholes, well who knows ? Certainly my ‘inner asshole’ might feel a resonance with them !
I apologize for the drama I have shared with the world and for my part in creating any unnecessary dramas. I would like very much to have come across as an unblemished character but as is my inherent weakness, I think I have conveyed myself as the flawed human being that I am. But that is the truth and if I have tried to do anything at all of value, it is to be truthful about my character and the things that matter most to me. We are all perfect in our imperfection. The only difference between myself and those I detest, is that I know it and openly acknowledge it and they do not.
So the clock is ticking, t minus, I’m not going to tell you how many days. But then, the clock is ticking for all of our adventures in this life and for all of our lives. I’m just fortunate enough that my clock has stayed ticking after all I’ve endured !
May your clocks tick well, remembering that the creators clock ticks but a heart beat away !
Wishing all of you, including said supporters, friends, detestable shadow seekers, nutcases and assholes – a wonderful life.
Bright 7. 😉