Caring as a Path to Spiritual Growth and ET Contact

Hi friends, I recently posted this entry on Project Pleroma and I thought it might be of some interest to you. Please enjoy !

DSCF3384_Sunburst_4“Hey folks, I have been wanting for a while now, to talk about the role of caring, in helping us to grow spiritually. I have been aware since starting the group, that at least two of you spend a large amount of your waking hours as carers.

So I want to put it to all of you, that being a carer is a wonderful prerequisite to having contact with beings from other worlds. And to some degree those of you who are carers have an advantage that the rest of us do not !

Let me start by telling you something about my work life, my personal life and talking about some basic definitions.

Several of my roles in the welfare field, involved working with both adult and child carers, who had relatives who either had a physical or a mental disability or a diagnosed mental illness. That work gave me a profound insight into how we as humans depend on one another and how love can be stretched to it’s furthest boundaries.

I have never cared for a chronically sick person, other than my son. I have had small pockets of time, when I cared for people I love but they were brief and passing. But when I first met the woman I fell in love with, her elderly mother lived at home and I had a year of living with that person and getting a felt sense of what it was like to live with someone who needed to be looked after. Albeit that that somebody had been an alcoholic for 30 years and beaten the person I loved as a child. Still I was able to understand just how hard it is to care for someone who is old and unwell. Later when she was admitted into a nursing home, I spent close to a decade seeing what nursing homes are like as a visitor and what I saw appalled me. Later when I worked with people who needed carers, I developed a richer appreciation of what caring is all about.

My own mother is now 64 years old and has severe OCD/hoarding and is at risk of being evicted from public housing. She lives in another state 8 hours drive from here and we are no longer close. I know that some time soon, she will either be evicted or put into some form of residential care and then later into a nursing home. I have consciously decided that I will not care for my mother for various different reasons but as much because I have other commitments, which come first and because my mother left me when I was 10 years old and I don’t think I owe it to her. But I would do it at the drop of a hat for my son, should anything ever happen to him. My sister on the other hand feels a deep sense of obligation to our mother and even though she lives 3,000 km from her, she is likely to make every effort to care for her by proxy. A few years ago she even spent a week cleaning up her house to save her from eviction. A few months later it was back to it’s former state because no one had addressed the root causes of her hoarding. I feel greatly for my sister and have spent a great deal of time talking to my ET friends about her life and her life to come. But I cannot tell her what to do. All I can do is guide her with love and be gentle and accepting. I know at some point I will try to reconnect with my mother, to heal any unhealed wounds and to record her life stories for myself, my son and the generations to come. My 15 year old son, also deserves to get to know his maternal grandmother – even though she is eccentric and very self absorbed. But she is who she is and I have had to learn to accept her as she is and not as I would like her to be.

So now some basic definitions. A carer to me is someone who looks after a person who is incapable of looking after themselves completely and carrying out the functions and acts of daily living. There are varying degrees of incapacity and as a result, different levels of need. Some carers merely do the shopping, while others wipe peoples asses and feed them. Some carers add caring on to the rest of their life, while for others, it is their entire life. Some cares care for their children and their aging parent. Some carers care for a child with a disability – whether they are young or an adult. Some carers care for a spouse who develops a disability or gets sick or develops some kind of cognitive impairment associated with ageing. Lots of carers work hard to maintain the dignity of their loved ones by keeping them at home, before reluctantly asking for help and/or placing them in professional care. Almost all carers get to a place of realising that they can’t do it alone.

Many carers can only see themselves as carers and do not recognise that caring is a role and not the entirety of a person. You are many different roles in life but that is not your true nature. Some carers become wedded to the image they have of themselves ONLY as a carer. They create their own self limitations. Which I think is very sad and unfortunate.

I have previously said that one of the most important things I have ever done is learn about the human life cycle. And I really can’t stress this point enough for all of you. One of the things that this taught me, is the vulnerability that each of us has at different points in the human life cycle – but particularity when we are young, old, sick or dying. And at some point most of us will experience sickness and dying and old age. We are inherently vulnerable but while we are busy in the throes of life, we forget our vulnerability and pretend we’re invincible. For many couples, caring tests the strength of their “in sickness and in health” vow and whether their words had any real substance. Many a relationship has fallen apart in the face of illness or disability. But equally many have grown stronger and matured. And for many parents, caring tests the boundaries of their obligations as parents.

I have learnt that all of us must be honest about our vulnerability as human beings. All life and all phenomenon are impermanent. Everything comes and everything goes. And we must accept that as our reality and try to find a way to get used to it. Nothing remains the same forever. And to me this is where love is so important. When we truly love someone we take on the burden of caring because our heart is open to alleviating the suffering of another. And when we are on the receiving end of caring, our heart is open to being at the mercy of impermanence and placing or trust in another human being. We must both learn to give and receive. Now of course it isn’t that simple and sometimes we don’t really want to care and those we care for take it for granted and we’d rather they hurry up and die. But in general, there is a space between us, where love guides our actions.

Perhaps the reason that people become carers isn’t always so clear. Love isn’t always the shining beacon beyond our motivations. Sometimes I think it’s a deep sense of duty or obligation.
This is the person who brought me into the world and raised me. I owe it to them !
Or
This is the person I made a vow to love through sickness and health, till death do us apart !
Or
If I don’t care for my child, who will ? If I don’t take care of my parent, who will ?
Or
I would want someone to care for me if I was unable to care for myself !
Or
I can’t abandon them !

There is a deep emotional vortex which exists inside the heart of a carer and it isn’t always clear to them why they do what they do. Sometimes that sense that they have to care for a person, tears them apart. Sometimes they want to care and sometimes they get sick of it and want to give up. Caring creates a huge physical and emotional burden. It can involve lots of physical work (like lifting someone all throughout the day) and an ongoing emotional roller-coaster (like coping with a partner with dementia who keeps forgetting who you are or what you mean to them or coping with the manipulative person who takes everything you do for granted). Sometimes the carer sees the person they love get progressively sicker and because of this their own life contracts into a kind of inescapable black hole. But just as often caring takes it’s own toll on the carer and the person who is the active carer begins to lose important aspects of their own life and begins to grow weaker and less energetic. I’ve even seen carers who were sicker than the person they care for but kept marching on, refusing all offers of help out of some distorted sense of do or die duty.

Some people are professional carers. They get paid to care for people. But most carers are loved ones who gain little, except the knowledge that they helped a person they love, when they were in need. Carers gain little recognition from society. Few people ever know what carers have given up and sacrificed, or how much of a toll caring has taken on their life or how much caring has hurt them physically and emotionally. They often juggle multiple roles – paid jobs and caring and caring for children and others. And they work harder than most of us and in most countries get paid nothing (here in Australia we have a carers allowance which helps a little to ease the financial burden). Very few people know what a carer is worth – financially, emotionally or spiritually.

But there are beings in the cosmos who do know.

So now, let me say a little about caring as a path to spiritual growth.
Caring is a fast track to growing up. It encourages the carer to place the well being of another before her own well being, to make sacrifices that otherwise would not have been made and to decide what matters most in life. Many carers were people with active lives, who had other plans. Sometimes they happily and sometimes they reluctantly gave up those plans to care for someone. They have given up the life they thought they were going to have for a life they didn’t see coming. So in a way, caring is a kind of self immolation – a sacrificial dying. But it isn’t all bad.

Caring helps every carer to shift their perceptions and to learn to feel with their heart. It teaches them to value their freedom and their free time and to choose wisely how to use the time that is available to them. It teaches them to see others and themselves honestly. But it also teaches them about the importance of vulnerability and accepting impermanence in the world around them and in their own lives. It teaches the importance of interdependence and relinquishing control and the value of surrender. But above all caring offers every carer the opportunity to discover themselves and to discover the people that they love, in ways that they would not have been able to do without the role of caring.

Carers live, caring through their waking and sleeping hours. They often dream about caring and about the freedom of walking away. Their dreams sometimes play out unfulfilled roles and fantasies and throw up many unresolved and conflicting emotions. Sometimes carers struggle to be able to separate the feelings of their dreaming life from their waking life.

Caring for another human being, helps us to discover what it means to be free and what it means to live with the emotional dramas of our lives and how to sit with uncomfortable, unresolvable situations.

I believe that people who remain single or without children, who never become carers in any capacity (even for an animal) are missing something. In general, their lives are filled with activities and pursuits that revolve around pleasing the interests of self. And here is where carers have something to teach us about what it is to be fully human. To experience all that we were created to be and all that we have the potential to be, we must know what it is to care for something else and to see that something else change and suffer. How else can we develop true empathy and feel our interdependence and interconnectedness ?

My suspicion is that many carers grow spiritually, far faster than those who are not carers. And because of this they are ripe for contact with beings from other worlds. Sure, most carers don’t have enough time to go out and try to make conscious contact. But rest assured it’s happening and it’s happening in a way that is casting ripples out into the rest of humanity. Our cosmic family is reaching out to them in dreams that mean something to them – whether they remember them or not. They are reaching out to them by orchestrating events and situations that help them to grow. And they are reaching out to them by answering their prayers. Prayers for help and strength and courage and direction and freedom and love.

And why would they bother reaching out to people who don’t have time to try to make contact ? Because most carers represent the good that is in the human race and our greatest potential. Our greatest potential isn’t amazing psychic abilities or transcending death; it’s the ability to care and to love and BE COMPASSION. Sure some carers may be misguided and are too self sacrificing and unwilling or unable to find time to honour themselves but their intention is to care for something other than themselves. And this is is an absolute must for ours species, if we are to be fully embraced by our cosmic family. The only way that humanity will have complete and open disclosure and acceptance as an interstellar and intergalactic species, is when we begin to demonstrate that we really have mastered the art of compassion.

Caring is just another of the roles we are given an opportunity to explore in life. But it is a unique role and represents a unique opportunity. While the price is great, the rewards are perhaps even greater. Not everyone has what it takes to be a carer or sees it as an opportunity and not all carers give a damn about what they do. Some carers are complete ass holes, which is why we have such phenomena as elder abuse. But most carers are decent human beings. And I suspect they have been decent human beings for most of their lives. Caring has just given them another way to blossom and to show their true character !

So please friends, come forth and tell us what you have learned from your role as a carer ! You have great wisdom that can benefit us all !”

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About brightgarlick

Ecclectic kinda guy, who loves life and saviours each day as it is.

Posted on June 22, 2014, in Contact Series and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Hi Bright, I think you have touched on what can be considered a deep subject. I myself have had a very brief experience on caring (in the means that you defined above), and have been exposed and observed situations like those that you discussed. For example I know of an older couple, where one of the individuals suffered a traumatic injury causing the other to take care of them, and in doing so the carer ended up draining themselves and eventually dieing of Alzheimers a few years down the road (perhaps this is a good example for another discussion as well). As many have realized including yourself, situations like this are occurring quite often these days, to the point where I believe many people are experiencing the role of a carer. I think in one of your videos you mentioned a future that was shown to you where individuals had the option to lift the burden they put on others so to speak, which I think can be considered related.
    I suppose we could ask what perceptions and backgrounds allow for a more readily willingness into the role of a carer and to what extent that perception will carry it out and why. I think we could possibly consider and acknowledge our ET friends positions and commitments. In some sense, at a broader level, at this moment we may have a similar relationship with them. Also, an interesting note is that I believe scientists have been tackling a very related idea known as Altruism, and whether or not it truly exists in nature or not. Very interesting topic, and I am curious if you or anyone else have any thoughts on the matter?

  2. Gillian Castle

    Hi Bright, I’ve been thinking of you, … just want you to know, that I agree with everything you’ve said, ref: Carers. I used to work for our local county council as a care & support worker. Personally I find care giving very rewarding on so many levels, in particular, in an emotional and spiritual sense … Reading what you’ve said regarding your own mother Bright , I can understand where you’re coming from regarding the way you feel … I’ll just say, I feel that sometimes, one needs to separate ones’ own personal emotional feelings , detach ones’ own feelings / needs, regardless of ones’ own perceptions of another … in doing so, I feel, one becomes a better person spiritually … that’s not to say that one should deny ones’ innermost feelings on a matter, but mentally separate that which is negative and ultimately destructive, moving forward for the betterment of all … because, by doing so detoxifies spiritually, releasing toxins produced by holding on to negative feelings, such as resentment, enabling purification, emotional growth into a well-rounded Human Being. People who hold on to negative emotions, who do not / or will not see sense, that is their own choice which path they take, but at least, in my opinion, the person who chooses to rise above, lives a healthier, more rounded life, knowing, that they have risen above that which is destructive, expanding ones’ physical and emotional senses … Free emotionally. So I guess what I’m saying, is that , to be a Carer in the pure sense of the word, one has to be naturally empathic, sympathetic, non judgemental , open-minded, able to separate ones’ own personal needs and emotions , not given to taking things on a personal level, patience, tolerance, understanding and last, but certainly not least, a good sense of humour , that’s a must ! … humour crosses all boundaries and can transform most situations… Thank you for everything you’ve shared here Bright. Good wishes, Gill UK

  3. Gillian Castle

    Hi again Bright, reading back over my previous reply… ‘Expanding your Physical and Emotional Senses ‘ … Ref: Carers . I realise that what I’ve stated is very subjective, an ideal … perhaps a rather “idealistic” view to the approach of interaction as a carer. It comes across as very matter of fact… when infact, everyone has their very own unique schema / mind map, of experiences and emotional sense, tolerance levels etc, everyone’s personality is moulded by their own very unique life experiences and reactions, as such … therefore, I realise my previous comment is based on an ideal perspective … Ref: Alien contact: I feel that it is the ideal that we all need to aim for re: making contact … I have been experiencing various phenomenon from a very young age , less so now I have to say. I’ve had many sightings of unidentified flying objects – UFOs, over the years, as well as other personal experiences, which I still experience from time to time . I find it extremely difficult to put into words to be honest, as it’s more a sense of “knowing” a sense that my thoughts and feelings are known and understood. I never cease to feel the warmth in my heart from the feeling of contact on whatever level or awe struck when I get a physical response, such as, a UFO sighting right at the time I’m thinking of who’s up there in the sky above us. Sometimes… words are not enough to describe a feeling or experience I find. To me, it is a felt thing and one needs to be able to feel it in order to fully understand the meaning of something… beyond words, transcendental is the word that comes to mind right now. I hope I’ve made some semblance of sense here with my personal perspective. 🙂

  4. Hi Bright,
    This topic is near and dear to my heart. I have been working in community mental health for the last 18 yrs, specifically with those beings who are homeless, that have addictions,been traumatized etc. My experiences in this field have taught me so much, in terms of unconditional love and compassion. It has been, and is a humbling experience to witness and assist a fellow human being in the rediscovery of their own worth and inner power. At times I have found myself frustrated when cycles of self abuse and neglect continue. I have learned to honor and respect those beings who challenge my assumptions in regards to mental health and wellness and I continue to be amazed in witnessing the strength of the human spirit. Caring for the most part starts with oneself FIRST. This piece is vital in terms of changing the world as all change really starts from within. ~Peace In~ :–)

  5. Hello Gillian and sablecat, I really liked what you guys had to say, truly insightful and I have a lot of respect for the care and work you guys wrote about. As I said before I have had very brief caring experiences, and growing up I was never really exposed to persons that fit Brights definition. Although to be honest one time I was presented with the opportunity to provide every day all day care for some persons, but for reasons being at that moment I decided to decline based off of thoughts that I managed to justify in my own way (not that it is right or wrong), and felt that it was an acceptable decision. I am curious though, and if you don’t mind, what inspired you guys to come to be in such roles? Did you have early life experiences with close friends or family or did you just feel that it was your calling or something else?
    Also, Gillian you mentioned detachment of negative feeling, would you consider someone taking time to understand the origin of that perceived negativity and why it poped up as part of the moving forward process?

  6. Hello mname, I’m sorry I’ve taken so long to reply to you. Thank you for your question… “would I consider someone taking time to understand the origin of that perceived negativity and why it popped up as part of the moving forward process?” … My answer is yes, this is essential in every aspect .. because, in order to be able to let go ( if one wishes to “let go” of whatever it is one feels negative about … one first has to understand the mechanism behind it… the triggers… “why”, what was it that caused negative response in the first place, why the response perception became internalized . Of course, this is after all “perception” the role ones’ personal experiences plays in the creation of “negative” response, may be a “positive” to another … possibility that it’s actually for good reason, positive intent – which actually would be a “positive” for that person. For example… fear … can be a negative response,, in certain situations, it could also save your life … we have a sense of fear for a reason.. survival, the old “fight or flight” instinct. Ref: Caring for others… One ultimately has to first be able to care for oneself.. It was not my meaning that one should completely disregard ones’ own physical, emotional health, in order to care for others, in that sense.. However, in order to move forward, in whatever field , one needs a “positive” mind set. A better understanding in any aspect of life I feel, can feel very liberating, to be able to let go of something that’s held one back from achieving goals, held one back from pursuing something one feels strongly about … once one is equip with tools for better understanding, enlightenment , freedom, a gate way… enlightenment the key. Obviously, my personal opinion given my life experiences. I just want to add … I like SableCat’s comment : “I have learned to honour and respect those beings who challenge my assumptions in regard to mental health and wellness and I continue to be amazed in witnessing the strength of the human spirit ” … I would just just like to close by saying… I continue to be amazed and I respect those beings who challenge my assumptions in every aspect of life. I hope this answers your question adequately mname ?… with love & peace 🙂

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